Modern dating can best be described as a clusterfuck of epic proportions. Not only are there so many different avenues of communication these days, but it can be nearly impossible to even determine what anyone’s intentions are. Do they just want to hook up? Are they looking for a relationship? Are they just batshit crazy?
It’s a goddam mess out there and many of us are just avoiding the scene altogether in hopes of holding on to what remains of our sanity. Plus, the overwhelming flood of social media and swiping apps makes it all too easy for us to be incredibly shallow about our possible suitors.
Reddit asked its users about the most superficial reasons they’ve ever had for breaking off a potential relationship and the responses might make you cringe and then agree.
1. pheesh_man, like horse teeth?
Bad tooth to gum ratio.
2. We can’t really blame you, mss5333.
I broke up with a girl because she chewed with her mouth open and talked with her mouth full of food.
She was a chef.
There were other reasons, but this was the final straw – the icing on the half-masticated cake falling from her open mouth.
3. Really, FabricationLife, really?
Their nose whistles when they breathe through it.
4. nzsmbgm, been there done that.
If they have the same name as my dad or either of my brothers.
5. Well, to each their own fuckpoliteness.
I once stopped seeing a guy because his handwriting was nicer than mine.
6. daffyboy, she doesn’t sound like the sharpest pencil in the box.
Cute girl, nice body, cute, innocent, easy and fun to talk to…. But she was a terrible kisser and she thought people on campus sticking windshield wipers up on random cars was an act of gangs marking territory so she called her mom and the cops. Wanted nothing to do with her after that.
7. Yikes, MoHashAli.
I saw this girl at uni, she was a straight 10/10, then I heard her voice. I’ve never lost interest so fast before. I absolutely cannot stand a high pitch, squeaky, overly-girly voice. It sounds so stupid as I write this, but voices are huge decider for me.
8. DipsomaniacDawg, good on you.
Not that I hate smoking. Quite the opposite. I’m pretty sure I’d start smoking too.
9. That’s kind of rough, SlothUSA.
I wouldn’t date this one girl because she had a lazy eye. This girl was super cool and we were good friends, but it would bother me when she looked right at me. Like I didn’t know which eye to look into.
10. Okay, we are with her_vness on this one.
She didn’t use her turn signals.
11. fallinlove1, that sounds unbearably awkward.
I once stopped dating a girl because she left me alone in a room for an hour with her mother within a week of dating. Where her mother proceeded to talk about blackberry phones but she called them blueberries and i was far too socially awkward to correct her.
12. DirtyThi3f is not messing around.
I’m married, but when I was single … if you were in to Winnie the Poo (like having seat covers or shit like that) we were done. Never met a sane girl into Winnie the Poo.
13. I guess BFSNFS and I never had a chance.
It doesn’t have to be perfect, but potential partners must have some semblance of a booty – otherwise it’s not meant to be.
14. BorderColliesRule, we couldn’t agree more.
If she’s not cool with dogs. That’s a deal-breaker right from the get go.
15. the_eric, harsh, but we might be with you on that one.
If you’re wearing a t shirt and I can still see your chest hair, I’ve got less than no interest in you.