Trainer Swears By ‘Sperm Smoothies’—And I Just Threw Up A Little

There are a million ways to give yourself an energy boost in the morning. Some people swear by freshly pressed juice, while others go for bullet-proof coffee, hot tea, or even just plain water with lemon. But one UK woman has an unconventional breakfast recipe that she swears keeps her energy levels in check, and it make you feel kind of queasy.

Every morning, single mom Tracy Kiss drinks a homemade smoothie that contains a teaspoonful of sperm.

Kiss, a 29-year-old personal trainer, claims her magical jizz juice boosts both her immunity and her mood, and provides tons of extra energy. According to Metro, the single mom “harvests” the sperm for her smoothies from her male bestie, who delivers it to her house three times a week. That’s one friendship goal we want nothing to do with.

To make the smoothies, Kiss blends the semen up with “complimentary ingredients,” which apparently include bananas, almond milk, and chia seeds.

“Every batch tastes different, depending on what he’s been eating,” Kiss explained to Metro. “Things like pineapple and peppermint make it taste better, but I’ll happily take it straight off a spoon usually. If he’s been drinking alcohol or eaten something particularly pungent like asparagus, I ask him to give me a heads up so I know not to drink it neat.”

Surprisingly, studies show Kiss might not be totally off-base about the health benefits of semen.

Don’t expect sperm smoothies to show up at your local Jamba Juice anytime soon, but according to Discovery News, a 2013 study by Columbia Health found semen contains vitamin C, citric acid, healthy enzymes, protein, and zinc. A separate study by the State University of New York in Albany also found that exposure to semen can improve symptoms of depression.

Of course, correlation is not causation. Plus, there’s no telling if these benefits still exist after the sperm has been sitting in a container in the fridge for a few days, which is where Kiss says she keeps her supply. Also, there’s an obvious risk of infection or illness from consuming someone else’s sperm—even if your supplier is your trusted BFF.

Kiss might swear by her sperm-a-licious smoothies, but it seems like a dicey way to get your morning energy boost. If you’re feeling truly zombie-esque, maybe opt for some black coffee and a high protein meal instead. It’s not as adventurous as a semen smoothie, but at least your breakfast won’t glow under a black light.

Related-ish: McDonald’s Just Released A Nutella Burger Because 2016 Makes No Sense

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