When scrolling through Netflix on your weekly (or daily) movie night, it can be difficult to choose which film to watch. With so many options, how could one possibly decide?
Well, fortunately, I have some humble film suggestions which will definitely satisfy you in more ways than one. And by that I mean: they prominently feature some serious man meat. After all, if you’re going to watch a movie, you might as well watch something that has a few thirst traps, right?
Here is a brief compendium of just a few movies where an attractive male bulge is featured on camera — and a few of them definitely haven’t been formatted to fit your screen (*wink wink*).
And no, before you get all indignant, Jon Hamm is not on this list because Mad Men ISN’T CONSIDERED A MOVIE, OKAY?
16. Tom Cruise in Magnolia.
I have no idea if this is real or not, but if it is, then I have severely underestimated Tom Cruise.
15. Henry Cavill in every Superman movie.
They tried to make Cavill’s bulge less pronounced on screen, but certain angles just couldn’t hide what was going on downstairs.
14. Matt Bomer in Magic Mike.
I mean, yeah. He’s wearing a thong. What more can you possibly say?
13. Actually, all of the guys in Magic Mike.
You’re doing the Lord’s work here, boys.
12. David Bowie in Labyrinth.
Let’s be real, these tights were borderline obscene.
11. Ryan Gosling in Blue Valentine.
Hm, that isn’t a bulge — OH HOLY SHIT, YES IT IS.
10. Jamie Foxx in Django Unchained.
Who knew pantaloons were so *ahem* clingy?
9. Daniel Craig in Casino Royale.
Gratuitous and soaking wet. Check and check.
8. Jake Gyllenhaal in Love & Other Drugs.
There’s like … some real definition happening here.
7. Chris Evans in What’s Your Number?
WHOA. I had no idea Captain America was such a deviant.
6. Mark Wahlberg in Boogie Nights.
It certainly doesn’t compare to the shot of his “actual” (read: fake) schlong, but this is really Marky Mark in his element.
5. Michael Fassbender in Shame.
Watch the entire movie if you want to check out what that bulge actually looks like (trust me, you do).
4. Ryan Gosling in The Place Beyond The Pines.
Fair warning: this is from a deleted scene. Yet another reason to spring for the DVD with extra features.
3. Zac Efron in Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates.
That singlet leaves precisely zero to the imagination.
2. … And also, Zac Efron in The Paper Boy.
All Zac does in this movie is walk around half-naked. It’s great.
1. Oh, and Zac Efron in Neighbors, too.
Okay, Zac flashes some bulge in pretty much any movie that he’s in. He is clearly the successor to Jon Hamm’s Bulge Throne (which sounds grosser than it is).
And if you’re at the end of this list and find yourself wanting more, never fear — this is simpy Part I in the Bulge Series.