It seems like not a week goes by without somebody pulling some lame or tasteless shenanigans that make us say, in unison, “Wait, what?”
Because if there’s one thing you can count on public figures for, it’s an endless stream of social gaffes, questionable choices, and tweets they definitely regretted in the morning.
Here are just a few folks who made this week’s list of unfortunate life choices. Let’s collectively learn from their unfortunate errors, shall we?
1. Tony Bennett
Renowned crooner Tony Bennett made headlines this week for revealing in his new book, Just Getting Started, that he met his current wife Susan Benedetto while she was still in utero — and by that, I mean, he met her pregnant mother after a 1966 show in New York City. He was 40 at the time.
The trio (or quartet, I guess?) apparently posed for a photo together. “As fate would have it, Marion was pregnant at the time with … Susan!” writes Bennett. “It’s a photo we all laugh about, knowing the incredible turn of events that followed.”
Uh (*chuckles nervously*) yeah, Tony. It’s definitely not weird to say you first met your wife when she was a zygote! It’s not like that’s the grossest meet-cute I’ve ever heard of, or anything! How were you able to hit on someone who was still in the womb? Did you just walk up to her mother’s stomach and say “You come here often”?
In case you were curious and/or can’t do math, Bennett is currently 90 years old, and Susan is 50. I hope you enjoy the mental image of them having sex for the rest of the day!
2. Dr. Phil
In the promo for a new episode of Dr. Phil, former Hollywood actress Shelley Duvall (Popeye, The Shining) is shown being interviewed by Dr. Phil. It is evident from the brief footage that Duvall appears to have be grappling with some serious mental health issues.
However, it’s also painfully obvious that Duvall’s serious situation is being exploited by Dr. Phil for the sake of viewership. Dr. Phil and his producers are being criticized on social media for taking advantage of someone in a vulnerable position — someone who should recieve medical attention from, oh, I don’t know, an actual doctor?
I’m personally keeping my fingers crossed that Shelley Duvall gets the help she needs, and Dr. Phil gets lambasted so much that he issues an apology and sends her to an actual medical facility.
3. Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian
Oh, yay. As if an impending Trump presidency weren’t concerning enough, Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian are living together once again. Because I guess learning from past mistakes just isn’t something that people care about in 2016!
Apparently, Scott is back in the house — and by “house,” I mean the Calabasas mansion that the couple are sharing with their three young children.
“He has really cleaned up his act and been well behaved,” an inside source told Us Weekly. “Kourtney is always skeptical about how long it will last, but she has been very encouraged to see how much he has been trying.”
While this definitely won’t last through the holidays, it’s at least guaranteed to bring some “drama” back to Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Which, honestly, probably means that the whole reconciliation was engineered by Kris Jenner.
4. Kanye West
Oh, Kanye. You seem to constantly be under the impression that people who are interested in your music are also interested in your opinions.
During a Thursday night show in San Jose, Kanye stopped everything to announce to fans that not only did he not vote, but that he would have cast a ballot for Trump if given the opportunity. As if this obnoxious statement weren’t enough, he stopped the show for a full 40 minutes to rant about his political leanings.
Obviously, it’s hard to ascertain exactly what points were made during this speech (only tweets and brief mobile videos are currently available), but it is abundantly clear that Yeezy was (for that moment, anyway) pro-Trump. Which is ironic, considering the 2005 statement he made in the wake of Hurricane Katrina about how “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.”
Honestly, he just sounds like a petulant child right now who’s trying to piss off his parents — who, as we all know, are Jay-Z and Beyonce.
5. Paris Hilton
In contrast to Kanye, Paris Hilton recently revealed that she actually did vote — and, surprise, surprise, she voted for Donald Trump.
“I’ve known him since (I was) a little girl.”
Which is accurate, since Trump himself has spoken to Howard Stern about meeting Paris when she was 12 years old. “I’ve known Paris Hilton from the time she’s 12, her parents are friends of mine, and the first time I saw her she walked into the room and I said, ‘Who the hell is that?'” Trump told Stern in an interview. “At 12, I wasn’t interested… but she was beautiful.”
Oh, and in case you were wondering, Donald Trump did admit to watching Paris’ sex tape. Which, I suppose, created an unbreakable bond between the two.
The only silver lining is that, maybe, in light of Paris’ remarks, Trump will appoint her to a position in his cabinet — which, I think we can all agree, would be both disastrous and amazing.