Ah, the holiday season. Nothing says family togetherness like a table full of food, a roaring fire, and the awkward Q&A you’re expected to succumb to every time you come home. If any of the questions below are on your family’s list of inevitable topics of conversation, you can at least take comfort in your ability to change the topic with ease. And hey, if there’s a well-stocked home bar, keep ’em coming–the drinks not the questions.
The tart cranberry flavor will pucker your mouth so you don’t blurt out something you’ll regret, while the sting of the ginger will distract you from your blinding anger. That way you don’t shout something like “You know, the crippling student loan debt I’ve already incurred is education enough for me, Uncle Joe!”
Cranberry Vodka + Ginger recipe HERE.
The only thing bitter about you is the orange mixed in with rum and cranberry. Take drink and ease into a a dreamlike oblivion as you fight the urge to retort “Like most of my generation, definitely not something that I got my degree in, that’s for sure.”
Cranberry Orange Dark & Stormy recipe HERE.
This salty, sour cocktail pairs nicely with the emotions you may experience while looking around at your siblings and cousins who’ve “settled down already.” Just don’t let the tequila trick you into giving that ex your parents were so dearly fond of a “WYD later?” text.
Cranberry Margarita recipe HERE.
You? Sour? Nah. The only thing that even closely resembles that punch in the gut is the tart taste of orange juice and tummy-warming bourbon. “They also have a two-story colonial, a golden retriever named Boomer, and go hiking on the weekends. Why do you ask?”
Whiskey Sour Punch recipe HERE.
Whether you arrived with a partner or not, at a certain age they’ll ALL be watching to see if you’re drinking. Trust me. So let ’em all wonder while you knock back a holiday take on the classic mimosa by switching out your go-to orange juice for apple cider. You know what they say, “An apple a day keeps the intrusive questions away.”
Apple Cider Mimosa recipe HERE.
“Mom, I just can’t get enough of your mashed potatoes…and sleights about my weight. Now if you’ll excuse me I think I’ll add a cherry on top of this calorie sundae by enjoying some eggnog.” Go ahead and throw a splash of bourbon in it, under the table if you must.
Butterscotch Bourbon Eggnog recipe HERE.
While dodging probing questions to find out whether you’ve been continuing your religious studies into adulthood, remember the best part of Sundays and sip on red wine with a little sparkling water. Peace be with you.
Red Wine Berry Spritzer recipe HERE.
Funny you mention it. My work in politics really took a turn when I got this butterfly ink on my wrist. But what can I say, I like my life like I like my whiskey–wild … and cut with a dash of delcious apple cider because it’s autumn, dammit.
Wild Turkey Honey Holiday Cocktail recipe HERE.
Bonus: “You’re leaving already? I guess we won’t see you until next Thanksgiving then.”
Take a shot of literally anything, you’ve made it to the end of the night! Passive aggressive goodbyes aside, seek sweet relief in your comfortable buzz and hop in an Uber to meet up with your college friends. Lord knows, at this point you deserve it.
Related-ish: 16 Ways To Have The Perfect Cheap Friendsgiving