When you’re in a new romantic relationship it’s normal to be having a lot of sex. And why not? You’ve just met this totally ballin’ new babe and you can’t keep your hands off of each other. That’s one of the most delicious things about starting a new romantic relationship — getting to learn all of the exciting new ways this person enjoys being touched during sex.
Because sex is so fundamental, especially in a new romantic relationship, sometimes couples panic when their sex lives taper off.
There’s a difference between having sex every single day (or having sex multiple times a day) and then having sex once a week or just one a twice or month, to be sure. And it can be distressing. But the decrease in your sex life doesn’t mean that anything is actually wrong with your relationship.
Sex is a major part of building intimacy between people, sure, but it isn’t the only factor.
If you guys are having more sex than the average (and very clichéd) bunny rabbits, but you have no idea what his goals, dreams, or hopes for the future are, then essentially you don’t know each other any more intimately than you know the guy who waves at you while you pass on the street.
In short, do not confuse having a lot of sex with knowing someone really, really well.
It’s is exceptionally normal for established couples to notice a change in the amount of sex they are having.
This doesn’t mean a dwindling of interest, it means that your relationship has become about MORE than just sex! And that’s a good thing.
Don’t get me wrong, I love wrangling me a penis as much as the next gal, but there’s something ridiculously sweet and tender and intimate about doing stuff together like reading side by side or planting a garden together in the back of the house.
Will you ever have an orgasm planting tomatoes? Probably not.
But doing activities outside the bedroom, working together, is going to increase your intimacy and bolster the depths of your relationship in the way that a thirty-second orgasm couldn NEVER do.
If you go from having sex constantly to having NO sex at all, that’s obviously a different issue.
If a dramatic change like that happens in your sex life, you need to talk to your partner about that.
And because talking about sex can be such a sensitive thing, you need to have already built a foundation of trust.
How do you that? Through intimacy.
We prioritize sex in our romantic relationships because it is the easiest and most desirable thing to do.
But while sex is great, it isn’t everything.
How connected you feel to your partner is what really matters, and you don’t need a penis inside your vagina to make that happen.
Originally published by Rebecca Jane Stokes at YourTango.