Here’s What The Sinners Are Buying On Amazon For Cyber Monday

In the spirit of Cyber Monday and all holiday shopping extravaganzas, we decided that you really need an extra dose of our Sinners of Amazon list. What better way to show that special someone that you really care for them than with a top-rated sex toy or fetish accessory?

No matter what floats your boat, we’re sure you can find the perfect gift to give this season right here on our collection of naughty and slightly disturbing products.

Warning: NSFW, proceed with caution

1. Ohmibod Club Vibe 2.Oh

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First up on our special Cyber Monday edition of “Sinners” is this sleek remote controlled vibrator. It’s discrete design enables the vibrator to be slipped into a lacey thong so if you feel like reenacting that awkward scene from The Ugly Truth you can! The product also has a unique vibration mode that syncs to the tempo of any music. Oh the possibilities…

Get it HERE

2. Penis Cake Mold

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Up next is a ridiculously large cake pan shaped like a penis for when you’re really craving some dick cake. Yes, it’s probably more ideal for bachelorette parties, but how funny would it be to show up with one of these at your next family reunion?

Get it HERE

3. Jeweled Anal Plug Butt Kit

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These heartshaped jewels are easily the most glamorous butt plugs we’ve ever seen, if a butt plug can be called “glamorous.” Satisfied customers gave these bejewled toys a solid 4.8 stars saying “the smaller two are good for beginners then the largest is a bit of jump but nothing extreme.” Good to know…

Get it HERE

4. Fetish Fantasy Extreme – Lil’ Piggy Hood

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This terrifying product reminds me only of the disturbing scenes in every Saw movie and is probably the furthest thing from arousing. However, one customer raves about the mask, “For the little piggy’s in your dungeon or bedroom this is a must.” NOPE NOPE NOPE.

Get it HERE

5. “I Pee In Pools” Hat

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If you’re in the market for the perfect gag gift this season, this classic “I Pee In Pools” hat is just what you need. To make it even better this ridiculous product is available in 12 different colors.

Get it HERE

6. Sexy Truth or Dare: Pick-A-Stick

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This sexy edition of truth or dare is a great way to spice things up in the bedroom. According to the product description, it’s “The perfect gift for those looking for some naughty action, Sexy Truth or Dare is sure to inspire many passion-filled nights.”

Get it HERE

7. Oneisall Deep Thrusting Up and Down Dildo Vibrator

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This disturbingly realistic vibrating dildo comes with its own remote control and can thrust up and down at your desired speed. Apparently, Amazon shoppers can’t get enough of its movement. One reviewer said, “This thing really pounds, and is a great one for when you’re in a more aggressive mood.” Oh boy.

Get it HERE

8. Heeldo Strap On Foot Harness

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Jesus, people. While I can commend its creativity, this may be one of the most ridiculous sex toys I’ve ever seen. A dildo that attaches to your heels so you can bounce up and down on it? Really? What a time to be alive. I guess it doubles as a good quad workout too though. To each their own.

Get it HERE

9. The Cookie Sutra

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This is by far my favorite product on today’s list. The “Cookie Sutra” is exactly what it sounds like, A Kama Sutra but with adorable gingerbread people. Yes, it’s a little bizarre, but it’s also kind of adorable and perfectly on theme for this season. Not mad about it.

Get it HERE

10. Strict Leather Premium Leather Sleep Sack

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Dear lord. There’s always at least one item on this list that gives me nightmares for weeks at a time and this is that item. A leather “sleep sack”….um, how about “panic sack?” This is horrifying, let’s just dress your SO up like a confined bat and see how aroused we get. NOPE, that’s going to be a hell no from me.

Get it HERE (if you dare)

11. Edible Dark and Milk Chocolate Body Pens

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Last, but certainly not least are these delectably creative chocolate pens. You and your partner can draw all kinds of unique designs on each other and then take turns licking them off. This could be an excellent stocking stuffer item for that special someone.

Get it HERE

See Also: 16 Stocking Stuffers For Girls Who F*cking Love To Curse

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