It’s always mystifying when married men choose to turn to the illicit world of online dating rather than confront their spouses about their unhappiness. Don’t they realize that one uncomfortable conversation is far more effective and healthy than a milieu of secret flings which eventually blows up in their face?
A 29-year-old named Mike wasn’t about to let his wedding vows stop him from dabbling in the world of online dating. However, a few months ago, sh*t hit the fan when Mike’s wife stumbled upon his Tinder profile (presumably while going through his phone).
Unfortunately for Mike (but fortunately for women everywhere), his wife felt compelled to amend Mike’s dating profile with a slightly more accurate description.
Mike’s profile now reads:
Hey my name is mike I’m married with two kids. I have a tiny dick that is sti infested. My wife found my profile if you can’t tell and I don’t know yet that she’s talking on the phone right now with one of my girls and is leaving me. I’m a piece of shit who doesn’t give a flying fuck about anyone but myself I have been talking and cheating so long don’t be sad if I don’t remember your name because I send the same generic shit to all you girls. Feel free to blow me up with hate mail.
The most brilliant part of this whole revenge scheme is, of course, the fact that people rarely check their own Tinder profiles. So, until the “hate mail” becomes blatant, Mike may be blissfully unaware of his bio amendment for the foreseeable future.
A screenshot of Mike’s new Tinder profile was posted on Reddit, where it quickly gained over 6,000 upvotes. And, while most Redditors were more than happy to mock the philandering husband, one commenter actually had some insight into the situation.
“I know that Guy! And his wife!” Redditor Downvotes_are_Grreat wrote under the post. “I don’t know how to prove it without sharing all kinds of info that could get me and them doxxed. But me and him were best friends in high school. He joined the army and I joined the Navy. We went our separate ways but still talk often on Facebook. She has been blowing up his Facebook with hilarious memes about how a married man should act.”
“Also, that’s a terrible picture of him,” he added. “He doesn’t look like that IRL.”
So, apparently, not only did Mike’s wife alter his bio and spam his Facebook, she also changed his Tinder photo to a ridiculously-unflattering snapshot. Not to mention the fact that she effectively warned other women against getting involved with this duplicitous scumbag.
This woman is essentially my hero.
Sorry, Mike — karma’s a bitch. And your wife deserves better.
Related-ish: 7 Reasons Guys Cheat That Have Nothing To With You