Sex is hard. We try so hard to look sexy and make that attraction happen, and then attempt to make the actual event as good as it can be. But then what happens? A lot of us blow it as soon as we’re done. Wham. Bam. Thank you, ma’am.
Don’t ruin the moment. If you want there to be a return engagement and for them to be interested in you beyond that moment, don’t insult the intimacy that just occurred or spark their potential insecurities by jumping onto your phone or throwing on your clothes. Take a moment for pillow talk (it exists for a reason) and try to make the intimacy shine through, even after you have both had your physical fun.
This is true for both sexes. We all have those things we are insecure about, and we want to feel wanted and special in that moment. Here are some tips on how to do post-sex right … or very, very wrong.
1. Don’t say, “Thank you.”
Your guy isn’t a male escort. “This was a mutual lovemaking session. If you want to praise him, kisses and yummy sounds will send your appreciation quite nicely,” says sexpert Coleen Singer of sssh.com.
2. Don’t call your mom.
“My ex and I had just finished having sex once, and then he went, ‘OMG I forgot to call my mom.’ So he’s sitting there, naked with the condom still on, talking to his mother. I was horrified,” says our still-shocked friend on condition of anonymity.
3. Don’t hold your pee in.
When having penis/vaginal sex, bacteria can get pushed into your bladder. This can result in post-intercourse bladder infections. “You can have some snuggle time, just empty your bladder within an hour of sex,” says Singer.
4. Don’t leave immediately.
Leaving your partner right after sex is likely to leave them feeling vulnerable and unimportant.
“The intimacy of sex requires emotional connectedness, which helps the relationship stay strong and healthy and can increase feelings of self-worth for you both,” says Antonia Hall, MA. a psychologist, relationship expert and sexpert and the award-winning author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life.
5. Don’t turn your back on him/her.
Cuddling is an important part of post-coital connection. “Your body will make more feel-good hormones like oxytocin and your partnership will be happier and far more loving if you take some time to hold each other,” says Hall.
6. Don’t immediately grab your iPhone.
After an intimate encounter, staying connected with your partner is more important than connecting with the world, says Hall.
7. Don’t put your sex toys away without cleaning them.
The bacteria left on sex toys can lead to infections later if they’re not properly and promptly cleaned. This is far too important to put off.
8. Don’t put your legs up — unless you’re TRYING to get pregnant!
“If you’re not trying to get knocked up, I’d avoid putting your legs up after sex. It helps with conceiving!” says sex and relationship writer Zlata Faerman.
Originally published by Aly Walansky at YourTango.