If you’re a female celebrity, then the tabloid pregnancy rumors are almost nonstop — particularly when you’re an iconic popstar like Katy Perry. However, some of those rumors sprout of from understandably confusing “indicators,” including, but not limited to: your partner rubbing your stomach in public.
Perry attended Tuesday night’s UNICEF Snowflake Ball, where she was honored with the Audrey Hepburn Humanitarian Award by surprise guest and media BFF, Hillary Clinton. During Clinton’s speech, boyfriend Orlando Bloom reached over and rubbed Perry’s belly in a manner which seemed to strongly indicate that Perry is expecting/in a family way/whatever euphemism you’d like to use.
Check it out:
Let’s take a closer look, shall we?
I don’t know, guys — either it’s a food baby or an actual baby, but something is definitely going on here.
Since Perry’s rep has denied these rumors via Page Six, it seems unlikely that we’ll be getting a pregnancy announcement in the near future … and yet. What other possible explanation could there be for Orlando Bloom rubbing Katy’s belly in such a deliberate fashion?
Here are the only alternatives that come to mind:
- He can tell that Katy is feeling nauseous, but is vastly confused about where the stomach is located on the human body.
- He’s giving her an upper-vagina massage (in subtle reference to “grab ’em by the pussy”).
- She’s feeling gassy, and he’s trying to help.
- He’s rubbing her belly for good luck.
Honestly, part of me hopes that one of these excuses is correct, purely for the sake of comedy. However, I’m understandably dubious.
I’m not saying that Katy Perry is pregnant. I’m just saying, let this be a lesson to all: if you don’t want to spark any pregnancy rumors, tell your boyfriend to stop patting your uterus in public.
Just a thought!