I will admit that this has been a strange year, and that I’m still processing all of my feelings about 2016. However, a new incident has come to light which makes me think that perhaps we should just collectively burn this year to the ground:
The stills for Britney Spears’ upcoming Lifetime biopic were just released, and they might give some Britney fans (or movie fans) an actual heart attack.
Among the promotional photos are shots of “Britney” hanging out with “Justin Timberlake,” and marrying “Kevin Federline.” (I give their names air quotes, because it seems unfair to associate the actual celebrities with these preposterous imposters.)
Let’s take a closer look at these abominations.
Here’s our supposed “Britney” — Camp’s Natasha Bassett, who honestly looks nothing like the popstar. (Also, I’m not convinced that Britney ever wore this outfit.)
Here’s the wedding photo from the Federline wedding, which, I have to say, paints Kevin Federline (played by Power Rangers’ Clayton Chitty) in a more flattering light than he deserves.
Here’s Britney and “Justin Timberlake,” and it’s almost laughable how little this actor (Cleaners’ Nathan Keyes) looks like the *NSYNC frontman.
Sorry guys, you can’t just put someone in a beanie and start calling them “JT.” That’s not how it works.
And yes, I saved the best for last — the Bizarro World version of *NSYNC, which probably annihilates every single molecule of sexual desire you might have in your body.
Is that supposed to be Lance Bass? Is that other guys supposed to be JC Chasez? Did the producers forget the difference between *NSYNC and The Backstreet Boys?
To be fair, I’m not really sure who’s to blame for the unintended hilarity. Sure, it’s possible the producers half-assed the entire casting process — but it’s also possible there’s simply no dignified way to present the aughts onscreen. After all, 2000-2010 was a decade full of frosted tips, and probably earns the title of “Least Fashionable Era To Ever Exist.”
The movie, which currently possesses the working title Britney, is set to be released sometime in February of 2017. So if you thought you could easily rid yourself of the nightmare, think again: this train wreck has barely begun.