Here’s What The Sinners Are Buying On Amazon This Week

It’s that time of the week again, folks. You’ve survived the unbearably long workdays and the relentless nagging of your tyrant boss and finally, you can open a bottle of wine and forget about all of it.

While you’re pouring that first glass (or drinking straight from the bottle like a champ), please enjoy our “Sinners Of Amazon” list because this edition may be our dirtiest one yet. Not to mention, we’ve included a few holiday-themed items for those of you feeling the Christmas spirit.

So, set that browser to private and shop on. We’re not judging.

1. Waterproof Silicone Silent Vibrator

51srd37clyl-_sx522_

First on our list this week is a silent waterproof vibrator that’s actually so popular it was selected for Amazon’s Cyber Monday Deals Week. If that doesn’t tempt you to try it out, we don’t know what will. Shoppers have rated this toy at 4.8 stars saying it’s “a great G-Spot vibrator that also massages the clitoris as well.”

Get it HERE

2. Solid Silicone Beginner’s Butt Plug

61lbctgd7il-_sy679_

Next up is this slightly terrifying silicone butt plug. It honestly reminds me of a bong or some sort of smoking apparatus, but that is definitely not what it’s intended for. According to its description, this product is intended for beginners. Not so sure how I feel about that…

Get it HERE

3. The Bedroom Game

81bs-4ae3l-_sx522_

The “Bedroom Game” is the perfect way to get things spiced up in well, the bedroom. It’s “action packed and great for couples wanting to explore their hidden desires and fun fantasies. From seductive foreplay to sexual positions your bedroom will never feel the same!”

Get it HERE

4. Christmas Fundies – Festive Undies For Two

61cnyssxljl-_sl1001_

In the spirit of Christmas and all things holiday related, the next item on our list is a pair of Naughty and Nice “Fundies” meant for you to share with your partner. Why that would ever be a fun idea is a mystery to me. However, the product has a 5 star rating so maybe it’s a good time after all.

Get it HERE

5.  Toughage Soft Inflatable Sex Ramp Pillow

61zswewsjl-_sx522_

This inflatable sex pillow is said to be one of the best on the market. According to its description, “exciting adventurous positions are both possible and comfortable.” Well, don’t kick it ’till you try it right?

Get it HERE

6. Red Christmas/Holidays Nipple Covers

61ksae6dpql-_sx522_

Another holiday gift idea on our list are these jingle bell nipple tassels. Yes, they actually exist and they’re pretty hilarious. Maybe this is the perfect gift your partner has been waiting to unwrap.

Get it HERE

7. Novelty Dick Pattern Throw Pillow Case

71pps6c634l-_sl1010_

This pillow is so ridiculous we might just need to order about a dozen of them for the office and maybe a few for my apartment too. We’re not always dicks, except for when we are.

Get it HERE

8. JIUAI Mini Finger Vibrator

41r7speydtl

The JIUAI Mini Finger Massager is easily portable and handy (get it?) It also looks like some sort of finger condom and I’m not sure how to feel about that. According to its product detail, “It will bring a lot of fun, for yourself & your lover.” Somehow I don’t doubt that. 

Get it HERE

9. Men’s Novelty Stud Undies

71zi4mqo7-l-_uy879_

Sorry not sorry, we had to include this utterly ridiculous candy cane banana hammock. I mean, look at it. The writing really just seals the whole thing together, “Wanna lick my stick?”

Get it HERE

10. Nutt Short Ballstretcher

41smfskzv5l

Okay, so I like to think I’m fairly versed when it comes to sex toys particularly after having done this post for several months now, but this product still confuses me. It’s called a “ball stretcher”, but it’s pretty much just your average cock ring. Why the evasive name? The best part about this item by far is its product description: “Whether you’re into fuckin’ or stretchin’ your sack, NUTT is a dual purpose silicone ring sure to get you to bust yours. NUTT is made from our signature pure platinum silicone so it’s squishy n’ soft but firm enough to grip your meat and tug on your nuts for hours of comfortable use.”

Get it HERE

11. 12 Drinking Games Of Christmas

51zxha5hffl

If you were having some anxiety about spending hours around your family members for the holidays, this gift might be just what you need. Not only does it involve copious amounts of alcohol, but it’s actually a pretty fun game too.

Get it HERE

12. Realistic Testicle Shaped Keychain

61x7z45i9sl-_sl1044_

Holy testicle Tuesday! This keychain is the perfect gag gift for your Secret Santa party this year. No one will predict that you carefully picked out a realistic pair of balls for their present. How sweet of you.

Get it HERE

13. Fuck It! Button

41dv3ezqfol

Last, but certainly not least on our list is this glorious “Fuck It” button that you can use whenever you just can’t deal anymore or when your coworker starts bitching about some nonsense. Fuck it, who cares?

Get it HERE

See Also: 5 People Who Made Us Say ‘Aw, HELL Naw!’ This Week

Share Tweet E-email