If you’re sick of just seeing women objectified in movies, welcome to the club! When you take a step back from networks like HBO who seem to take pleasure in showing a pair of boobs/ limp penis every 15 minutes for the sake of viewership, you’ll realize that objectification has been a very male-sparse discussion.
A few years ago I saw the Ben Affleck movie Gone Girl, where if you blinked you’d miss Ben Affleck’s sidekick in all it’s glory. The movie sparked outrage and discussion from critics, as if no one has ever seen a penis before. But it did, again, point out the glaring disparity between how Hollywood expects women to disrobe onscreen while it rewards men for being more “modest.”
Since I’m a firm believer in allowing everyone equal opportunities to compare their bodies to celebrities who’s jobs it literally is to look fit and hot, I’ve decided to compile 7 glorious times men dropped their pants and allowed themselves to go full-frontal for a movie. Sure, it may not be anything more exciting than what you can find with online porn and all, but it is one step in many towards making Hollywood exploit both sexes in equal measure
Ben Affleck – Gone Girl
I’ve already brought this up but it makes our list again because it was a major talking point in the media. I had a part in that, and elaborated on why it is beneficial for everyone to be exposed to more male nudity in films. Since so many women speak about how Hollywood standards of beauty have informed and allowed them to either accept or reject those standards, it only makes sense to allow men the same freedom. If you sneezed or ate a piece of popcorn too fast, you probably missed little Ben, but hey! If you rent it on DVD you can stop the screen and see Batman’s junk in all it’s glory.
Jason Biggs – American Wedding
I guess it counts if his penis is pressed up against a clear pot-lid, right? I don’t know but that didn’t stop myself from gasping the first time I saw the American-Pie franchise go there. It was a bold move from the creators of a movie about a guy fucking an apple pie to finally show his penis, but I guess they felt they owed it to us for all the random boobs and Seann William Scott quips we had to endure throughout the series run.
Gilles Marini – Sex and the City
As you’re beginning to see, a trend with men showing off the goods full frontal is that the audience is only given quick glimpses. Later on during the Sex and the City movie, Samantha (who has moved from NYC to LA) spies on her hot neighbor showering and is treated to a view of his massive egg-plant emoji. She’s quickly embarrassed by how forward he is after catching her gaze, which could be symbolic for how quickly people become embarrassed when presented a penis on film.
Mark Wahlberg – Boogie Nights
Okay this was technically NOT Mark Wahlberg, but it was a major moment in a lot of queer boy’s sexual awakening. The movie, which centers around the very real John Holmes (and his massive member) is about porn, yet decided to withhold “the money shot” of it’s star’s dick until the last frame of the film. Was it worth the wait? You’ll have to watch and let me know!
Michael Fassbender – Shame
This one is a little tricky because although I loved seeing Fassbender’s massive penis on screen, the overall message of the movie was extremely bleak and anything but sexy. If anything, this male full-frontal is particular important because it is not only exploiting a man by stripping him down onscreen, it is highlighting that even though a person can be sexual in nature, sometimes the context of that sexuality is uncomfortable. There are instances in film where women are naked for no other reason than to make the audience uncomfortable instead of pure exploitation, and here is no different.
Jason Segel – Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Another example of a penis being there for no reason other than it was hilarious to have Jason Segel be completely nude the entire time Kristen Bell’s character dumped him. Perhaps it was supposed to symbolize how truly vulnerable he was in that moment. Perhaps Jason Segel really wanted people to know he had an impressive flaccid dick. Either way, the world may never know.
Kevin Bacon – Wild Things
To this day no one is quite sure why Wild Things was made, or why Kevin Bacon decided to show his dick in it. Either way, neither are particularly important. If you do decide to sit down and watch this dark fever-dream of a movie be prepared to see some Bacon peen as he steps out of the shower and has another man hand him a towel because ???