Being a server or working on a waitstaff is a pretty thankless task. Not only are you perpetually forced to serve demanding and rude customers, but you’re required to do so with a smile on your face and a chipper cadence in your voice. And occasionally, even when you successfully grin your way through a terrible customer experience, you still get a laughably paltry tip as payment for your troubles.
On Thursday, Twitter user @pimpcey_ shared a particularly upsetting Facebook post from a man who took his wife out on a date and felt compelled to share their bizarre and ruthless tipping system.
The post reads:
So I took the wife out to dinner last night, and we have always talked about doing this. You put 5 singles out on the table for the waiter/waitress to see. (Don’t say anything to them) if they mess up, you take a dollar away. At the end of dinner, however much is left is their tip. I shit you not, you will receive the best service of your life. The waitress kept looking at it as if she was confused. But she played her cards right, did a great job, and got the whole 5 bucks. I did take away a dollar tho bec she forget the bread, but she bounced back and gave us extra. Haha all in all a great evening with my love and a good dinner experiment we both wanted to see play out. Try it, you will be surprised!
So, first of all: ew.
Clearly these people don’t understand that the tip typically isn’t just going toward the server — it also goes toward everyone else who helped to make your meal happen. There are also many restaurants that divvy tips up equally among the waitstaff at the end of the night. So, when you slight one server, you are actually slighting multiple people.
Secondly, what kind of perverse pleasure are you getting from essentially dangling five dollars in front of someone’s face and making them jump for it? This is definitely a power play, but it’s the smallest amount of power I’ve ever seen go to someone’s head. Yes, you are the customer, but that doesn’t give you free reign to be a royal assh*le.
Then, there’s the matter of the $5.00 tip. Unless this couple is on a date at Chipotle (a dope idea, honestly), then their bill is definitely going to be more than $25.00. This means that they are consistently tipping 20% or, more likely, significantly less. And if you’re wondering why that’s a particularly tacky move, then please just Google it, because I don’t have the time or patience to explain the cruel and unfair world of the food service industry to you.
Naturally, Twitter is already roasting the anonymous couple in question:
There is a slight possibility that this whole thing is a hoax, stolen from a plotline in 3rd Rock From The Sun, where Dick learns about the intricacies of tipping.
So, either this people actually wanted to try this technique in real life, or they just wanted to pimp out a joke from an sitcom and pass it off as their own. Either way: their label of “Sh*tty Customers” still stands.
While justice may not be served in real life, at least we can take comfort in the fact that it is served up nice ‘n toasty on the internet — no tip required.
Related-ish: 5 People Who Made Us Say ‘Aw, HELL Naw!’ This Week