17 Bullsh*t Beauty Trends No One Wants To See In 2017

This past year has been endlessly cringe-worthy for a multitude of reasons — several of which involve terrible beauty trends that desperately need to be squashed in 2017. From the infamous furry nails trend, to the bizarre fad of rainbow roots, there are definitely some trends from 2016 that desperately need to go into retirement as soon as possible.

Here are just a few hair, nail, and makeup trends that I sincerely hope don’t carry over into the new year:

1. 100 layers of anything

It’s as though someone said “Hey! I figured out a great way to waste a ton of different beauty products at once!” and everyone else was like “That sounds totally reasonable, let’s do it!”

2. Sheet masks

I appreciate a good mask as much as the next person — but the influx of sheet mask selfies this year has seriously pushed me to the edge on this trend. While I’m sure these masks are perfectly adequate as far as skincare goes, they also make the user look as though they’re wearing slices of thin lunch meat on their face.

3. Succulent nails

Guys, come on — it can be difficult enough to keep plants alive as it is. Why make matters worse by cutting them off and gluing them to your fingernails? If you’re such a fan of succulents, maybe just stick to growing them in tiny, adorable pots like every other millennial.

4. Knife liner

Sure. Because this isn’t deeply terrifying or anything. Why not coat your face in the blood of a sacrificial animal while you’re at it?

5. Furry nails

Hace you seen the #furrynails trend?? I love it ❤

A post shared by Nail art and makeup 💇💅 (@sfnailart) on

I have no idea how this trend came to be, but my best guess is that somebody saw How The Grinch Stole Christmas and thought “Damn, that Grinch has some sexy furry fingers!”

6. The term “nontouring”

If you aren’t contouring, then it’s called “highlighting,” you savages. Stop making up nonsensical words and claiming that they make sense, damn it!

7. Tape contouring

If you have to intricately tape-up your face in order to achieve the perfect contour, then perhaps makeup isn’t really your thing and you should just learn an instrument instead.

8. Glow-in-the-dark hair

This is one of those trends that seems cool in theory — but, at the end of the day, you’ve just put an immense amount of effort into your hair that will only be appreciated when the lights are off.

9. Bra inserts as makeup sponges

I’m sure that silicone makeup applicators get the job done, but, like, are we really that dissatisfied with makeup sponges that we are using bra inserts to apply our cosmetics?

10. Glitter tears

I guess if you’re going for a “Sad Clown” aesthetic, then this particular glitter trend is right up your alley. Otherwise, let’s not and say we did, shall we?

11. Fake freckles

Some people are pretty sensitive about their freckles, and spend most of their adolescence learning to accept them. With that in mind, it seems really weird to draw fake freckles on your face just so you can “try them on” for a day. Also, is anyone in your social circle going to believe that you suddenly developed perfect freckles overnight? Please, on behalf of everyone who actually has freckles, stop co-opting this look.

12. Rainbow brows

Once again, it’s very difficult to pull of this look without appearing as though you’re a runaway circus performer. Your brows are great! Stop trying to cover them up! Or, if you’re going to cover them up, at least stick to a single color!

13. Scorpion nails

If the idea of dead arachnids on your fingernails strikes you as the height of sophistication, then perhaps I can interest you in this dead rat headband I just made?

14. Geode lips

@beyou.byjoh #geodelips 😍

A post shared by Queen | Captain | Land Pirate (@djspaceage) on

Hope you’re cool with not eating or drinking anything for the next four hours — because when your lips are loaded down with this much glitter, your mouth is probably going to remain closed for the foreseeable future.

15. Rainbow roots

Sure — because this hair trend definitely isn’t going to look like a hot mess when it grows out, or anything!

16. Pom-pom nails

A trend that is apparently only aimed at women who never poop — because if you’re sporting these ridiculous, fuzzy fingernails, there is no way you’re wiping your ass.

17. Cheetos hair curlers

I have no words, except for “why?” and “No, seriously, why?”

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