If you woke up with a serious case of the Mondays today, it might be time to put things in perspective.
Here are some individuals who had a much rougher weekend than you did, and probably need a pretty stiff drink right about now — so stop your whining and just be thankful, mmkay?
1. Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna
The internet nearly had an aneurism this weekend when Rob Kardashian tearfully announced via Snapchat that fiancé Blac Chyna had officially left the couple’s home, taking their newborn daughter, Dream Kardashian, with her. Chyna responded to Kardashian’s Snapchats by taking to Instagram to denounce her fiancé’s behavior, calling him “SAD” and “PATHETIC,” and claiming that he verbally abused her. The pair then got into several arguments in the comments sections of their Instagram posts.
While the whole thing is a semi-hilarious shit-show, it also sounds like far too much drama to deal with this close to the holidays.
2. Demi Lovato
Over the weekend, Demi Lovato was savagely burned when Mariah Carey, pop-singing matriarch, played a game of “Does She Know Her?” with Watch What Happens Live! host Andy Cohen. The game was a not-so-subtle homage to Carey’s infamous J.Lo burn years earlier, when she told a reporter, simply, “I don’t know her.”
During the “Does She Know Her?” game, Carey was asked about all of her fellow pop divas, responding with either praise or “I don’t know her.” Demi has gone on record as calling Mariah “nasty” in the past, so it isn’t surprising that Carey saved most of her vitriol for Lovato. When asked about her pop nemesis, Carey responded by saying, “I don’t know her either, and so I wouldn’t say anything to her … She should come up, introduce herself to me, say here’s my opinion, ‘What do you think about it?’ That’s how you handle shit, OK?”
Demi might need ibuprofen after taking such a thrashing, y’all.
3. Meek Mill and Nicki Minaj
Breakup rumors are currently circling this hip-hop (former?) couple, and Meek Mill’s Instagram post over the weekend of a scantily clad woman in red lace is only fueling the speculation.
While some fans believe the woman in question is clearly Nicki, others claim that this definitely isn’t her body. The smug caption is equally mystifying, as Meek Mill initially wrote “Sitting back like … ” and then amended the post to include the phrase “just friends.”
So, the question on everyone’s mind is: does this photo cinch the breakup rumors and serve as a weird form of social media revenge? Or, is this actually a photo of Nicki, and the pic is merely an unorthodox method of squashing breakup rumors?
Considering Minaj and Mills are no longer following one another on social media, the evidence seems to indicate the former rather than the latter — in which case, I’m willing to bet that Nicki Minaj had a worse weekend than any of us, if her ex-boyfriend’s sex life was just rubbed in her face.
4. Collateral Beauty
Look, this movie was always going to be bad. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it never looked good, and was pretty much always on track to be a stinker.
However, Collateral Damage reached a unique level of awful this weekend, when it cemented its place as the the “worst wide opening for a Will Smith-led feature ever,” according to Box Office Mojo.
Congratulations to the movie for actually setting records with its repulsiveness — and my condolences to Will Smith for the demise of his career.
5. The Person Who Found A Snake In Their Christmas Tree
Australia proved, once again, to be totally uninhabitable this weekend when a woman in Victoria found a tiger snake slithering through the branches of her Christmas tree. (Oh, HELL no.)
Luckily, snake catcher (a job title you could only have in Australia) Barry Goldman wrangled the festive reptile, and both the snake and the woman’s tree were left unscathed.
Unfortunately, the woman is probably thinking about throwing her entire Christmas tree in the garbage right about now.