7 Quiet Sex Positions So You Can Bang At Your Parents’ Place This Xmas

Having sex at your parent’s house is innately naughty. And if you are trying to stay quiet and not be heard, that’s as far as the naughtiness is going to go.

“Aside from the act location itself, your actual sex will be quite sweet, connected, tender, and loving. And that dichotomy of sweet and spicy makes it even better. The goal is to be quiet. You don’t want to moan too loudly, and you don’t want the bed frame pounding against the wall or the frame squeaking,” says dating coach and sexpert Laurel House.

So what do you do? Instead of forgoing sex altogether, here are 7 quiet sex positions you and your boo can try.

1. Slow and Deep Missionary

Press your mouths together and take each other in completely.

“If you need a gulp of fresh oxygen, moan into each others hair to muffle the sound. If the mattress hasn’t been changed since you slept in it years (if not decades ago) and even the slightest move is accompanied by squeaking, take your passion to the floor, which is hopefully carpeted. Just be prepared for rug burns, no matter how careful you are,” says House.

2. Spooning

With the man behind her, the woman lifts her leg slightly to allow him to penetrate her.

“The movement is minimal, reducing the likelihood of creaking bed noises that would give you away. Taking it slowly can be incredibly sexy, and this position allows for stimulation of her breasts and clitoris to boost pleasure,” says Antonia Hall, MA., a psychologist, relationship expert and sexpert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life.

3. Standing Doggie Style

If you’re really concerned about being interrupted, you could even stay dressed, which could lesson chances of skin-on-skin noise as well.

“The woman bends over a piece of sturdy furniture or stands facing the wall, supporting herself by her hands as he enters her from behind. He can bring his hand around to stimulate her clit or cover her mouth if she starts to moan,” says Hall.

4. Shower Sex

While shower sex can be kind of awkward, it’s a guaranteed uninterrupted place that can give you and your sweetheart private time and the bonus of loud cover-up noise. As the water drowns out the noise and moans, the steamy water adds heat and pleasure for you both, says Hall.

5. Floor Sex

Getting down on the floor will reduce chances of being heard considerably, especially if you’re not on the second floor of the house with the family in a room below you, says Hall. Both of you should be lying down to reduce bumping or heavy thrusting that might give you away.

6. Oral Sex

Slowly bring your partner to pleasure or join forces and keep both your mouths occupied by 69ing. This can also be done on the floor to prevent bed creaks. Keeping it slow will reduce chances of being heard and can increase the sexy pleasure for you both.

7. Reverse Cowgirl

Have him sit at the end of the bed if the springs won’t give you away, on a sturdy piece of furniture or against the bathroom counter.

“The woman straddles him, quietly lowering and raising herself onto him. He can kiss her neck, which should help keep him quiet, and she can stimulate her clit or cover her own mouth if needed to reduce chances of being heard,” says Hall.

Originally published by Aly Walansky at YourTango.  

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