The onset of colder weather in combination with the holidays always seems to bring dozens of couples together. Maybe it’s the simple desire to have someone to snuggle up to or perhaps, we’re just feeling more lonely than usual.
Whatever the reason, most of these seasonal relationships don’t tend to survive into spring time. In lieu of all the inevitable future breakups, AskReddit polled its users for the worst reasons an ex has ever given for dumping them and the responses will make you so grateful to be single.
1. Goldsteina probably dodged a crazy bullet there.
I was a 15 year old freshmen and she was 17 year old senior. When we started dating, she said she wanted to wait two months before having sex. I was a virgin and wasn’t even really worried about it so I agreed. Then a month later things got hot and heavy and she insisted that we do it; I asked “are you sure? You said you wanted to wait” but she insisted on banging it out anyways. Afterwards, she said that it was a test to see if I would actually wait like I said I would, and that I “failed just like every other guy before me did”. Then she dumped me.
2. We can’t believe how shallow ghiscari‘s ex was.
She didn’t tell me directly, but I found out from a mutual friend that she felt ‘freaked out’ over my size (overall body size, not dick size) and that she felt like she was with a child, especially due to my ‘tiny hands.’
I have dwarfism, and she was the first (and only) girl to have an interest in me, so hearing that hit me really hard. It was like all of my insecurities became valid.
3. Rick0r, that might be for the best.
That she couldn’t do the whole long distance thing.
Then started dating my flatmate, who was precisely two meters more long distance than I was.
Needless to say he wasn’t my flatmate for long after that.
4. Super_Saiyan_Carl‘s ex sounds manipulative AF.
I remember one of the reasons being,
“We never argue and if we do, you never yell. I need to see emotion out of you.”
I grew up in a house where my parents seemed to scream at each other any time they got in an argument. Never liked that. Figured I wouldn’t if I was in a relationship.
5. Ummmm what Mexipads?
“I love you too much and I don’t want to lose you so let’s be friends instead.”
6. bigalsplaypen, what is wrong with people?
“I just don’t want to lead you on.”
We’ve been together for a year.
“Well, I was really just using you to get to your friend that I’m going out with now.”
…..For a year?
7. Idk what I would’ve done in mccarthybergeron‘s position.
Not sure if this qualifies: I was 17, she was 16 and we went to the mall as my girlfriend wanted to do shopping for a bathing suit. When we got there, she asked me what I thought about the bikini she was considering getting. It looked amazing, but – naively – I questioned why she was getting one if she already had one. She responded it was for a guy that evening and I wouldn’t want her to look bad in her older, raggy suit. I stood perplexed and asked why she wanted to see the guy. She said it was to see if he liked her. She bought the bikini and left me at the store breaking up with me at the register – all with a smile. I think I stood there for a solid 20 minutes not knowing wtf just happened.
8. imstonedyouknow got dumped because of a dream.
She called me one morning and said she had a dream that i grabbed her ass in public in front of a bunch of her family and friends. She said she couldnt be with someone who would just do that and think thats okay… i didnt know what to say. She broke up with me because of how i acted in her dream. It really makes me laugh when i think of it now but at the time i really was confused as to how that was a plausable thing in her head.
9. chadder_b, girls are weird.
1 gf broke up with me because her best friend just broke up with her bf a couple days before. Didn’t know our relationships were tied together like that.
10. What goes around, comes around brownstain420.
She told me she was young and was “supposed to experience her life and party and have fun”.
That was the start to 2016.
The start of 2017 for her is her baby being born because she got drunk at a party.
Oh…. Oh the irony
11. ThatRugReally, he sounds crazy anyway.
We were hanging out at the beach all day with a group of friends. His younger cousin shows up. I introduce myself, “hi, I’m ThatRugReally.” Not even “ThatRugReally, your cousin’s girlfriend.” Get a text message a few days later breaking up with me because how dare I introduce myself to one of his family members, and he decides when that happens.
Apparently when his cousin showed up to the beach, that was supposed to be my cue to leave.
12. All the tropes were used on Smeggywulff.
This was all one sentence.
“Smeggy, I’m gay, I’ve met someone else, he’s much richer than you are, it’s not me it’s you, I think we’re better off as friends.”
Did he miss a break up trope? Also, yes, he absolutely said “It’s not me it’s you.” We still joke about it.
We are actually still friends. Everyone knew he was gay, except him. I knew I was a last ditch experiment, and while I wished it could have worked I knew it wouldn’t. That was 14 years ago.
13. JaytheFarmer, that must’ve been the reason why.
I went go kart racing with my gf. During the race I ran her off the road. She broke up with me a week later. She gave a couple reasons that seemed like copouts. To this day I’m convinced it was the go-cart race.
14. What a bitch, sorry wheelzmcripple.
My dad died and two months later she said she had to go because I was “always sad!”
15. brelywi, he sounds like an asshole.
He and I went to a music festival in college. In case you’ve never been, there are a ton of super hot girls running around basically naked. Once we got back home, he started moping around and eventually broke up with me because “he realized there are so many hot girls out there and he wanted to try to fuck someone hotter.”
16. Sometimes suspicions are on point, emilyMartian.
I was suspicious of a girl he was hanging out with so he dumped me because of the “suspicion” and then immediately started dating her but claimed he never had thought about it until I had brought it up so therefore it was my fault.
17. trixie_trixie, WTF?
He found someone who looked like my twin with bigger tits 😦
18. Move on, milkiiduds just move on.
I graduated high school on time and she didn’t.
19. dagdawgdag, I don’t even know what to say to this.
I didn’t have my pubes often enough.