Although I’m far from a relationship expert, a trend has emerged over the course of all of my relationships. At first I didn’t think much of it, and vowed to work on it, I found that the issue kept coming up for my friends in their relationships as well. The one fundamental mistake we’re all making in our relationships is not being enough of a champion for our partners. If you’ve ever complained to your friends more than bragged to them about your significant other then you’re just as guilty as the rest of us, and it’s vital that we work hard to fix the way we present our significant others to the world.
If you adore your boyfriend but you’re struggling to understand why your friends don’t like him, here are 5 things you may be doing to turn them against him without you knowing.
1. You Bawl More Than Brag
If you’re always complaining to your friends when things are bad between you and your significant other and forgetting to tell them about all the good things in your relationship, chances are they’ve grown to dislike your significant other. It’s only natural after hearing your good friend complain about their boyfriend over and over again that you’d grow to dislike someone. Be mindful of how often you’re complaining and how often you’re celebrating your boyfriend and how often you’re trash talking him. While it may seem like you’re just venting to your best friends you could also be making it very difficult for them to accept it.
2. He’s Become An Excuse
Instead of just telling your friends you don’t want to go out or that you’re too busy watching the Gilmore Girls revival to meet them for drinks you use your significant other as an excuse. Instead of you not wanting to go out you say something like “He’s had a really hard day at work and just wants to stay in tonight.” Although you may think you’re coming off as a sympathetic significant other, what you’re really telling your friends is that your boyfriend is the reason you’re not able to see them time after time.
3. You Comment On Other Guys While Out
Although this may seem fun and innocuous the message you’re actually sending to your friends is “I’m pretty unhappy in my relationship and I have my eyes out for someone new.” Even though it may seem harmless, this is a form of undermining your relationship and it sends the message to your friends that you don’t like who you’re with so why should they?
4. You’ve Isolated Yourself In The Relationship
If you’re never taking the time to see your friends it is sending a clear message to them that your boyfriend is more important to you than they are. And while this may seem dramatic, having a balance between your romantic life and your personal life is vital. If you’ve dropped off the face of the planet for no reason your friends would rather assume it is your boyfriend’s fault than face the sobering reality that you’re putting your relationship before them.
5. You Keep Him At A Distance
Furthermore, even when you do decide to venture outside of your relationship and into hanging out with friends, you like to exclude your significant other. It can be brunch, it can be just going to the movies with the girls, but if you refuse to allow your good friends and your boyfriend to also be friends it will be sending them a sign that he’s not that important enough for them to get to know outside of you.