While there are many movies and shows to choose from, the perfect selection for a “Netflix and Chill” sesh requires a specific balance. The chosen entertainment needs to set the mood without distracting you from ahem, other “activities.”
It should have a level of sex appeal, but not overwhelmingly so or to an uncomfortable level. For instance, 50 Shades may be a fun one to watch with the girls and a bottle of wine, but it’s probably not the best idea for special time with bae. Horror may seem like a safe genre because you’ll have an excuse to break the ice by grabbing onto each other when you’re “scared.” However, a movie that involves some twisted AF murderer who enjoys eating his victims would be a major turnoff…at least, we seriously hope so.
In light of such a vital decision, we’ve decided to put together a list of Netflix selections that you should 100% avoid for your next “chill” sesh. You’ll thank us later.
1. Basic Instinct (1992)
While some elements of this film could be considered “romantic,” the overall murderous plot is disturbing AF. Homicide detective Nick’s infatuation with his number one suspect the seductive Catherine may have you hooked at first, but there’s nothing arousing about the scene where Johnny Boz is stabbed with an ice pick while climaxing during sex. That’s a quick way to turn your man off.
2. Requiem For A Dream (2000)
If the gif above isn’t enough of an indication, this film is far from an ideal selection for your date night. Darren Aronofsky’s psychological drama gives a deeply unnerving insight into the drug-induced utopias of four Coney Island residents. Their irksome “realities” are enough to seriously fuck up your psyche, and make you far from in the mood to get down with bae.
3. Law & Order SVU (1999-)
While I’m guilty of binge watching my own fair share of SVU, I can certainly attest to the fact that it is a program meant for viewing alongside girlfriends and junk food on a hungover Sunday. It’s nowhere near material for “snuggling” up with a piece of man candy for obvious reasons. Sorry Olivia Benson, we’ll have to save you for later.
4. Oldboy (2003)
The plot of this film alone, is enough to make you not sleep for weeks. A man is kidnapped the night his daughter is born and brutally detained for 15 years. Once released, he has only 5 days to hunt down the person who imprisoned him. The most disturbing part by far though, is the fact that he realizes he’s been sleeping with his own daughter and then decides to be hypnotized so he doesn’t remember she’s his daughter. That way he can keep his relationship with her…WTF!? Sorry, no one is getting laid after watching that.
5. The Woodsman (2004)
For starters, this movie is about a child molester returning home after a decade in prison. Already sounds like the opposite of a hot date film right? Though Kevin Bacon’s performance is tremendous, there are several scenes that will make you feel the need to take a shower and wash off grimy feelings of discomfort. Not exactly seductive.
6. There Will Be Blood (2007)
First of all, I have to give credit to Daniel Day-Lewis because he’s a truly phenomenal actor and his performance in this film is insanely moving. That being said, the amount of nonstop violence and well, blood in the movie don’t necessarily make for good snuggling material. If it did, I’d be pretty concerned.
7. Atonement (2007)
If you have yet to see this movie, maybe just don’t. Okay, I shouldn’t say that because it is a very well-made film, but it truly unsettled me for several days after watching it. A fated romance amidst a violent war may sound like ideal date material, but trust me there are many scenes in this film that will make you and your special someone very uncomfortable. Also, you might cry and there’s just nothing too arousing about that, imho.
8. The Diary of Anne Frank (2009)
It should seem quite obvious as to why The Diary of Anne Frank is not an ideal “Netflix and Chill” film. Though Anne’s story is one of the most famous in history, it would be wildly inappropriate to “get down” during such a tragic tale about the Holocaust. Also, what TF kind of person would want to?
9. Antichrist (2009)
If you’ve been in search of the most utterly sinister and all around visually assaulting films in the history of ever, congratulations you’ve found it…this is that film. Antichrist is the story of a couple who ventures out to their cabin in the woods to restart their life after the tragic death of their young son. Seems like an innocent enough story line right? Wrong. Just to give you a taste… a man gets his testicles crushed by a woman with a block of wood. Then a woman uses scissors to cut off a part of her lady parts. Netflix and Chillers, AVOID!
10. The Human Centipede (2009)
This is another title you should probably steer clear of on your next date night. If you’ve never heard the concept behind The Human Centipede, allow me to ruin you for the rest of your life. In an attempt to bring is morbid fantasy to life, a deranged surgeon sutures people together through their gastric systems. Yes, as in ass to face and so on…enough said.
11. Melancholia (2011)
This science-fiction drama-psychological thriller starring Kirsten Dunst is yet another film that should be avoided at all costs, especially on a night when you’re trying to… you know. In fact, you should probably go ahead and exclude any title directed by Lars von Trier just to be safe. Watch the trailer, you’ll see what I mean.
12. Master of None (2015)
Though I love Aziz Ansari, this Netflix show is far from date night material, particularly if you’re in a new-ish relationship. From Dev’s disastrous move in with his girlfriend of only 3 months to the scene where he wonders whether he has to marry his girlfriend or not just because they’re together at the right time, there are plenty of uncomfortable squirm-worthy moments to be had.
13. Black Mirror (2016)
Don’t get me wrong, Black Mirror is probably one of the most thrilling Netflix original shows out there. I mean, it’s essentially a futuristic rewriting of The Twilight Zone, what could be better than that? However, the first episode is disturbing on many levels that may not be ideal for a first date. Let me give you a taste: A British Prime Minister is blackmailed by kidnappers who have taken the Duchess of Beaumont. In order to get her back, they demand the Prime Minister have sex with a pig on live television. Nope. Nope. Nope.
14. The Invitation (2016)
Last but certainly not least, is a title which I had to learn from personal experience is in no way a mood-setter for sexy time. This twisted psychological thriller is about a man who receives a mysterious dinner invitation from his ex-wife a few years after their son was killed in an accident. He soon discovers his ex and her new man have joined a cult that convinced them a mass suicide is the only way to escape their pain. Needless to say, we weren’t too aroused after watching this one.