This Week In Bullsh*t Beauty Trends: ‘Blorange’ Hair

Brace yourselves: there is a new beauty trend that is here to destroy your hair.

It’s a peachy-orange hair color that has been making the rounds on Instagram, and has come to be known as “blorange”—because I guess 2017 is going to be just as insufferable as 2016.

The hair color trend was apparently dubbed “blorange” by none other than Mick Jagger’s daughter, Georgia May Jagger, who played around with the shade back in September. The embarrassing moniker is meant to be a head not to the red-orange color of the blood orange fruit, although some are also saying that it’s simply a portmanteau of the words “blonde” and “orange.”

Blorange

A post shared by Georgia May Jagger (@georgiamayjagger) on

The color is now being touted as the hot new hair trend for the year, which is annoying on multiple levels.

One, I think we can all agree that the term “blorange” sounds incredibly dumb. You don’t just get to combine two words to create one, stupider word (although that seems to be something our generation is fond of doing). When you say the word “blorange,” I just assume that you’re talking about the name of someone’s citrus blog.

Second: not to be too snarky, but I feel like we should acknowledge that this is a trend that looks like you did it at home in your bathtub. This is perfectly fine if you’re going for a free-wheeling, anti-perfectionism look—but to call it a “trend” is like calling smudgy mascara that melts into your under-eye area a “trend.” Just because it doesn’t look outright terrible doesn’t automatically make it haute couture.

(Also, I just have to point out that this particular hair trend is especially rough on your hair. First you bleach it, then you dye it multiple times. You may end up with a remarkable and unique hair color, but your hair is also going to feel like straw by the time all is said and done.)

In short: if we’re going to buy into hair trends that make us all look like sherbet ice cream cones, can we at least give them respectable names? Must we continually embarrass ourselves like this? Can we just set the bleach down and slowly walk away?

Oh well. Have fun explaining to your future kids why “blorange” hair was cool.

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