I honestly don’t even know where to begin. Last night’s episode of The Bachelor was an entirely new cluster fuck of unnecessary emotions, cringeworthy drama, and—of course—a scantily clad Corinne. This week the show picked up after the “To Be Continued” cliffhanger when Nick sent Liz home and told the other women that, you guessed it, they had sex at Jade and Tanner’s wedding. *Gasp*
However, the Liz fiasco is quickly forgotten in the midst of a new week of dates, including a surprise appearance from one of our favorite 90s boy bands. This, in fact, may have been the only redeeming moment from last night’s episode. Nevertheless, if you find yourself curious about the other complete and utter bullshit that went down, or if you’re already privy to such information and just need a place to laugh, please continue to read through the bad, the ugly, and the WTF scenes from last night.
First, there was Corinne and her fated attempt to seduce Nick with whipped cream.
She showed up to the cocktail party in nothing but a trench coat, with a bottle of whipped cream in hand. This is not Varsity Blues…Fortunately, Nick had some semblance of self respect and turned her down.
Then she proceeded to sleep through the rose ceremony.
Making her mark in Bachelor history one ratchet-ass step at a time.
On a more positive note, The Backstreet Boys made a guest appearance and we all squealed like teenage girls.
Seriously, who is Nick? Can we just have a whole season of BSB? Pleaseeeee. Danielle L. totally slayed and took the group date rose.
But of course, attention was turned back to Corinne when she announced that she has a nanny.
That poor woman.
There’s even a Twitter account created in her honor.
Fortunately, things turned around during Nick and Vanessa’s one-on-one, even though she puked in zero gravity.
#TeamVanessa all the way. This may have been Nick’s only redeeming moment in last night’s episode, taking care of Vanessa and even shedding a tear in front of her.
The next group date was slightly more athletic.
The girls competed in a series of track and field events and Astrid was a champ for not only winning the competition, but keeping her boobs in that sports bra.
And then dramatic AF Dominique got herself sent home.
Hmmm who does this remind me of? *cough* Lace *cough*
Finally, there was an all-day pool party at the mansion in place of the usual cocktail party, and You-Know-Who had to go and stir up some drama by inviting Nick to play in a bouncy house with her.
Gag. Did your nanny have to set that up for you Corinne?
My favorite part by far though in this entire episode was Alexis the dolphin chick being the first Bachelor contestant to say “Move, Bitches” after receiving a rose.