17 Desk Accessories That Will Remind Your Coworkers You Don’t Have Time For Their Sh*t

In every office, there’s someone who’s not, shall we say, a morning person. And, if we’re being totally honest … that person may be you.

If you find yourself requiring a heavy dose of caffeine before interacting with your coworkers, or if you cringe every time you’re inundated with incessant and unnecessary chitchat, or if you have to endure an early morning meeting every day, then you may need an extra dose of cynicism to get you through the day.

That’s where these perky little desk accessories come in: they’ll give people sass when you simply don’t have the energy.

1. This majestic unicorn mug, to let everyone know that you’re a mythical creature.


Get one here for $13.50.

2. This pencil bag, which sums up your feelings about early morning meetings.


Get it here for $12.

3. These pencils that describe your reaction when there’s no more coffee.


Get a pack of three here for $3.00.

4. This phone case, which simply begs to be left the f*ck alone.


Get it here for $12.50.

5. A smile-through-the-bullsh*t paperweight.


Get one here for $19.

6. This utterly apathetic name plate.


Get it here for $6.00.

7. A travel mug to ward off any potential morning people.


Get one here for $14.

8. This candle that will, quite literally, burn your haters.


Get one here for $16.

9. This mug that demystifies your modus operandi.


Get it here for $14.99.

10. A calendar that doesn’t have time for sunshine and smiles.

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Get one here for $10.

11. This notepad for when you just can’t be polite anymore.


Get it here for $11.66.

12. A mousepad that tells it like it is.


Get one here for $8.99.

13. This brutally honest coffee mug, to explain why you have such a raging headache.


Get it here for $12.95.

14. A patch to politely let everyone know that they can f*ck off.


Get one here for $11.

15. A pencil holder to let everyone know where they can stick it … their writing utensils, that is.


Get it here for $34.99.

16. A mousepad to quietly curse the loud-talkers sitting around you.


Get it here for $11.90

17. A patch which proudly declares why everyone should bow down to you.


Get it here for $11.77.

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