We’ve all seen makeup tutorials that are intended to make you “more attractive.” But what about makeup tutorial that’s modeled after a total troll?
Comedian, YouTube maven and social media queen, Akilah Hughes, has created a very political makeup tutorial for “when you want to look like a skin tag personified” — i.e., when you want to resemble Steve Bannon, Donald Trump’s chief strategist.
Bannon has become notorious for inflammatory, right-wing remarks, such as saying that birth control makes women “unattractive and crazy,” and that the media is the “opposition party.” He spews hateful rhetoric right and left, and is often referred to as the puppet-master controlling Donald Trump.
Basically: he’s not a very nice or tolerant human, and he deserves to be made fun of.
Hughes begins by giving a list of the necessary products for this tutorial. They include pieces of salami (“They smell awful, like his skin probably does”), and some dull face paint colors (“Just to really show how dead, and disgusting and decaying his skin is”).
You must also remove all of your fun and cute makeup, because it makes you “look like a person” — which Steve Bannon is definitely not.
When applying your makeup, don’t err on the side of less. Go for more. “Think ‘clown.’ Like, how this administration is filled with a bunch of unqualified, inept clowns.”
If it gets crusty? That’s perfect! “That’s another real characteristic of this administration. They just don’t look like they moisturize.”
Add repeated layers of dull and blotchy makeup to create a mottled effect. “Look like a rejected mummy, whose only refuge is a hateful site like Breitbart.”
Then, it’s time to add the pieces of salami on top of the makeup. The lunch meat may not stick perfectly to the layers of foundation, but Hughes says that the falling pieces of meat just adds to the realism. “I’m sure he sheds parts of his face, all day, every day.”
At last, you’re left with your finished product: a near-perfect replica of Steve Bannon’s complexion.
Thank you, Akilah, for reminding us all that makeup tutorials can be cathartic as hell.