Here’s What The Sinners Are Buying On Amazon This Week

Well ladies and gents, it’s finally the weekend again which means a much needed hiatus from the office and of course, an all-new Sinners list.

We know you’ve been waiting all week for its return so without further ado, please enjoy the most deviant items Amazon has to offer.

Warning: NSFW items ahead, but you already knew that… 

1. This glass pleasure wand


First up on this week’s list is a blown glass pleasure wand. Though the price inspires some skepticism, many reviewers give this product a 4 star rating saying, “Your intimate time, alone or with a partner, will never be the same once you try this! It is shaped perfectly to hit all the right spots and leaving you shaking afterward.” Well, okay then.

Get it on Amazon for $7.49

2. This hands-free male masturbation cup


Next up, is this hands-free toy for all the men out there. According to its product description, it can “relieve you and bring you the most pleasing sexual experience with 10 modes of high-speed thrust anytime and anywhere.” Can’t argue with that.

Get it on Amazon for $69.99

3. This Doody Head game


The mere fact that this product exists is mind boggling. Its description insists that the game is “great for parties” but you are literally just throwing stuffed shit at each other’s heads. WHY??

Get it on Amazon for $14.99

4. This elephant mankini

screen shot 2017 03 03 at 4 16 47 pm Heres What The Sinners Are Buying On Amazon This Week

If you’ve been looking for that perfect “playtime” outfit for your partner, look no further because this bright red elephant mankini is sure to get you aroused…not. However, it’s pretty damn hilarious. Let’s just hope he can keep that trunk up.

Get it on Amazon for $8.99

5. This leather spanking paddle


If the recent 50 Shades sequel has inspired you to spice up your sex life with a little BDSM play, this leather paddle may be a great place to start. According to the product description, “this superior genuine leather whip will satisfy your fetish fantasy with the reliable quality and noble color.”

Get it on Amazon for $13.59

6. This gift of literally nothing


What do you get the person who has everything? You get them nothing, literally. This hilariously packaged ball of nothing is the perfect gag gift for your #blessed friend or maybe that asshole coworker you’ve been meaning to get back at.

Get it on Amazon for $7.99

7. This wonderfully accurate mug


I’m tempted to purchase this mug for every single female I know. Honestly, has there ever been a more accurate product?

Get it on Amazon for $10.01

8. These Obsidian kegel exerciser balls


These kegel exercise balls are said to be some of the best Amazon has to offer. Very satisfied customers commented that they are perfect for beginners and both insertion and removal are comfortable. Don’t knock it ’till you try it, right?

Get it on Amazon for $17.99

9. This deer butt bottle opener


For that one redneck friend who can never seem to find his damn bottle opener, this is a dream come true. Who wouldn’t want to pop open a cold one with a deer’s asshole?

Get it on Amazon for $10.65

10. This Great Head oral delight gel


This next product is designed to make oral sex pleasurable for both partners by adding a little flavor as well as an all over tingling sensation. A win-win, if you ask me.

Get it on Amazon for $22.95

11. These frisky over-the-door restraints


If you and your partner have been looking to dabble into a little bondage, these door restraints are an Amazon favorite. One reviewer apparently had a satisfying experience, “I am extremely pleased with the quality. They are a lot stronger than I expected. These are gonna get a lot of use. I’m glad they came as fast as they did!!”

Get it on Amazon for $16.92

12. These inflatable dueling dicks


For your next bachelorette party or maybe just a wild Saturday night, why not strap on a couple of inflatable dicks and have your very own sword fight? Totally normal, right?

Get it on Amazon for $24.95

13. This list of reasons why you need to get laid


Last, but certainly not least is this list of valid reasons as to why you or your partner needs to get laid. So, how many sheets does it come with?

Get it on Amazon for $7.18

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