Dating apps may be the easiest way to find a casual date or hookup for the evening, but it also seems like they’re the easiest way to find yourself conversing with a raging asshole.
Recently, a Facebook user named Kevin Tran shared screenshots of a Tinder exchange between his friend and a man named “Nick” — a guy that Kevin recognized from his college days. Kevin had known Nick to be a decent, upstanding guy, so he was shocked when his friend revealed that Nick called her a “chink” when she didn’t answer his messages in a timely fashion.
Kevin posted about the exchange on Facebook, hoping to warn any other women who might come into contact with Nick on Tinder or any other dating apps.
Kevin shared a photo from Nick’s Tinder profile, as well as the screenshots of the conversation between Nick and Kevin’s friend.
The text exchange is honestly pretty infuriating to read.
The conversation begins innocuously enough, with Nick making plans to grab a drink with Kevin’s friend later that evening.
However, as soon as there is a lag in the conversation (which, Kevin tells BuzzFeed, was only for about 15 minutes), Nick calls the woman a “chink” and also tells her that she should wear less makeup. He adds the middle finger emoji, for effect.
In the words of Ron Burgundy, “That escalated quickly.”
(Although, to be clear, no amount of lag time or ghosting should prompt someone to use racial slurs against another person.)
Kevin attempted to confront Nick about the interaction, since they were acquaintances. However, when Kevin sent screenshots of the conversation, Nick just played dumb and claimed that someone else must have stolen his information and was using his “old number.”
“I can tell you for a fact this is the first time I’ve seen what you just screenshotted,” he told Kevin.
However, Kevin told BuzzFeed that Nick blocked him on all social media immediately following that confrontation — which really seems to impugn Nick’s “innocence” in all of this. And when Kevin tried to call Nick’s “new number,” he got the voicemail for some other guy named “Rob.”
After Kevin posted about the exchange, others came forward with their own anecdotal evidence of Kevin’s racist and sexist rhetoric.
Another anonymous woman shared screenshots of her own abusive messages with Nick.
Soon enough, women were coming out of the woodwork with stories about their misogynist encounters with Nick.
One woman even claimed that both she and her friend group had experienced this level of verbal abuse and harassment from Nick.
To its credit, Tinder took the matter very seriously, and addressed the issue as quickly as possible.
Tinder’s VP of Communications and Brand Rosette Pambakian, wrote a blog post about the incident, which reads:
Hey Nick (and anyone who behaves like you),
We’re swiping you off the island.
Tinder has a zero-tolerance policy on disrespect. No racist rants. No sexist pigs. No trolling. No jerks who can’t get over their own inadequacies long enough to have a decent conversation with another person on Tinder.
I was personally offended by what you said. Your words to that woman were an assault, not only on her, but on all of us. Every day, we work to rid our ecosystem of bad actors like you. Why anyone would choose to go out into the world and spread hate I will never understand, but you do not have that choice on Tinder. Hate is not an option and we will continue to fight it wherever it rears its ugly head.
You have a lot to learn, Nick. I see that you studied global business, and that you joined your school’s programs for young entrepreneurs and technology management. Great choices. Because you’ll need to search far and wide to find an organization that will employ you now. Not sure if you’ve heard, but more and more women are becoming successful entrepreneurs and business leaders. Clearly, you haven’t been paying attention. Women’s voices are only getting louder. So let me say this loud and clear: you and your kind are not welcome in our world.
And we have the power to keep you out of it.
Vice President, Communications & Brand
While I suppose it’s remotely possible that real Nick Vedovi was targeted by a Tinder catfisher who stole his information and identity to pick up girls, the evidence seems to indicate that the real Nick’s vile behavior finally caught up to him, and that he is doing his best to deflect the blame by hiding behind a wall of excuses and deactivating all of his social media accounts.
Regardless, if you match with a guy who resembles Nick on Tinder, proceed with caution. While jerks are certainly a dime a dozen on Tinder, there are still people who manage to set the already-low bar for online dating apps even lower.
Stay safe out there.