Fashion is tough. I mean, imagine having to come up with new bullshit trends four times a year, there’s only so many times you can tell people denim skirts are making a comeback before they’ll figure out you’re full of it! So I truly feel for whatever merry prankster at Topshop convinced their boss to go along with the “clear knee window” mom jeans, but I’m not having it.
British retailer Topshop just took the lead for most WTF fashion statement recently with their ‘MOTO Clear Panel Mom Jeans’
Let’s take a closer look at these monstrosities:
Needless to say, I have some questions:
• WHO decided it would be a good idea to install some windows right over your kneecaps?
• In addition to my Tide to-go pen, should I carry around Windex now, too??
• Won’t windows over the knee—arguably one of the most humid parts of the leg—fog up with condensation when it’s muggy?
• Am I going to start seeing moms at the pool with sunburns or dark rectangles over their knees?
• WHY ARE THEY $95!? Is that what it costs me to show off my hideous kneecaps to the world?
• Why are moms singled out as a group of people who might want to flash some ‘cap? Haven’t they suffered enough??
(Unlike the windows over the knees on these jeans, these answers to these question remain unclear)
There were a few reviews on Nordstrom’s website, and they all seem… pretty fake:
“I’ve always loved my kneecaps,” one ‘reviewer’ lied before adding “YOLO.”
“These jeans are on fleek,” exclaimed another in the year two-thousand-seventeen. (Real talk, don’t take advice on being fashion forward from ‘reviewers’ whose slang expired about 19 seasons ago!)
Naturally twitter roasted these weird-ass jeans right back to hell where they came from:
This isn’t the first time Topshop has committed a cardinal denim sin, as HuffPo pointed out:
The ‘MOTO Clear Panel Mom Jeans’ are available at Nordstrom’s now for $95, but I’m sure you’ll be able to pick up any size at Nordstrom Rack in a month for pennies on the dollar.