With all the craziness in the world, it’s important to set aside time to sit down alone and ponder some of life’s more challenging questions. Questions like “How would the world be different if a vagina whistled like a teapot when aroused?” If you can’t find conclusions on your own, let these Redditors help you.
2. DirtyOldAussie thinks slut shaming would reach new highs:
There’d be a whole set of myths relating pitch to tightness. ‘Did you hear that D flat? She’s such a slut…’
3. Those classic live performances? We wouldn’t have them, according to lazlounderhill:
There would be no discernible recordings of Elvis or The Beatles performing live.
5. Using normal teapots would get awkward for dudes, fourpuns says:
Teapots would give me erections…
6. husbandwithabigwang just wants some peace and quiet:
This library would not be nearly as quiet as I want it to be
7. InClothesWetrust has further questions:
if this happened..Would a teapot sound like a vagina?
9. Cardunculus2 got pretty deep on us:
Teen magazines (and also women’s magazines in general, but especially teen magazines) would feature countless articles about the ideal tone of the whistle that your genitals should emit, about how yours is inferior and gross, and about how you should try <insert outlandish, expensive, and almost certainly harmful “cure” here> in order to remedy to this flaw.
10. murder_kitty has their Etsy idea ready:
I’m imagining cute little earmuffs that girls could wear on our vaginas to keep our whistles discreet when out in public. The muff muffs.
12. ChooChooPaPow has something to sell:
“Pussy silencer, get your pussy silencer. Only five dollars. It looks like a dildo, but it’s so much more!”
13. TheWrongFusebox can’t hear you:
WHAT WAS THE QUESTION? SORRY, I CAN’T HEAR YOU FOR ALL THE DAMNED WHISTLING OVER HERE!
14. ViGingersnap notes there’d be a lot less privacy:
It would certainly have taken a lot more work for me to stay closeted as a lesbian…
16. rsJackm points out that the meaning of certain things would change:
Ah, the true meaning behind “it isn’t over until the fat lady sings” is finally revealed
17. Concerts would be different, AcrolloPeed explains:
One Direction concerts would sound even more shrill and high-pitched than usual.
18. Wait, did you hear something? DangWhatAStory didn’t notice anything:
We’d hear a lot of women fake coughing.
19. Strip clubs would be much louder and Sticky_Riddles is on it:
I’d open a strip club called the steam whistle
20. Movies would be ruined, via dandaman64:
Mulan probably would have been found out way quicker than previously.
21. Omny87 with the new puns:
Well if you put a saxophone down there you can turn your masturbation session into a jazz ensemble.