If you woke up with a serious case of the Mondays today, it might be time to put things in perspective.
Here are some individuals who somehow managed to make things much worse for themselves this weekend and/or had some rather unfortunate career setbacks, in full view of the general public.
Just be thankful you’re not one of them, mmkay?
1. Paul Ryan
Following the Trump administration’s somewhat disastrous attempt to appeal Obamacare, Paul Ryan was the subject of many beleaguered memes this weekend — and things became even more pathetic when the band Papa Roach began to troll the Speaker of the House.
You see, according to a New York Times article, Ryan was reportedly listening to Papa Roach in the back of a black SUV after the failure of his bill.
Though it’s pretty obvious that this last tidbit was added for hilarious dramatic effect, Papa Roach nonetheless offered up a response to Paul Ryan allegedly listening to their music following his colossal legislation failure.
Shortly thereafter, Papa Roach and Paul Ryan became a running joke on Twitter, which undoubtedly only added insult to Ryan’s already very public injury.
Thank goodness the internet offers a humorous distraction from the cold numbness of our daily, meaningless lives!
2. United Airlines
This weekend, United Airlines made headlines when they allegedly refused to let teen girls wearing leggings onto a flight, citing a “dress code” issue.
Not surprisingly, people were outraged at this bizarre and apparently unprecedented dress code enforcement.
The company released a statement explaining that the young women were “pass riders,” and therefore subject to different rules and regulations than a standard passenger.
“One of the benefits of working for an airline is that our employees are able to travel the world,” United explained. “Even better, they can extend this privilege to a select number of what we call ‘pass riders.’ These are relatives or friends who also receive the benefit of free or heavily discounted air travel – on our airline as well as on airlines around the world where we have mutual agreements in place for employees and pass riders.”
“When taking advantage of this benefit, all employees and pass riders are considered representatives of United,” they continued. “And like most companies, we have a dress code that we ask employees and pass riders to follow. The passengers this morning were United pass riders and not in compliance with our dress code for company benefit travel. We regularly remind our employees that when they place a family member or friend on a flight for free as a standby passenger, they need to follow our dress code.”
However, this explanation doesn’t seem to have garnered much sympathy from the public, as United is still basically admitting that they find leggings to be “inappropriate” attire, and are still attempting to punish certain passengers for wearing them.
3. Alex Jones
Alex Jones, the personification of a deflating whoopee cushion, apparently has a bit of egg on his face following his perpetuation of the crackpot “Pizzagate” scandal.
If you recall, the conspiracy theory alleged that Hillary Clinton was using D.C. pizza parlor, Comet Ping Pong, as the front for a child sex-trafficking ring. (Yes! Apparently it really is this easy to become a broadcast personality in the United States with absolutely zero credibility!)
The owner of the establishment, James Alefantis, sent Jones a letter roughly one month ago demanding an apology. Likely facing a libel lawsuit if he did not comply, Jones was forced to eat crow in an apology video which was subsequently posted to his website, InfoWars. Jones blamed several of his former employees for this misinformation, because apparently it requires the expertise of a truly seasoned reporter to parse out the truth: that a local pizza restaurant is not actually selling the bodies of minors at the behest of some of Washington’s most powerful politicians.
Who could’ve possibly seen that one coming?
4. Tomi Lahren
Following her controversial comments on The View in which she claimed to be “pro-choice,”conservative pundit Tomi Lahren was suspended from her position at Glenn Beck’s TheBlaze. Now, however, it seems that Lahren has officially been banned from the network.
A source told Page Six, “Glenn is reminding the world of his conservative principles by sidelining Tomi after she insulted conservatives by calling them hypocrites … He’s trying to balance being a leading conservative thinker and also someone who can unify the country. He just couldn’t sit by and watch as Tomi Lahren said there’s no way for conservatives to justify anything other than being pro-choice.”
It’s unclear where Lahren will land next, but, for now, perhaps we can all look forward to slightly less bitching and moaning about the Black Lives Matter movement.
5. This Taco Bell Customer
Ohio police were called to a local Taco Bell after a woman purposefully held up the drive-thru line. When the officers arrived, the found that the woman was incensed, and refused to drive forward because the fast food chain was out of their “Mild” sauce, which was her preferred taco condiment. The employees also refused to comp her meal for the condiment inconvenience.
The enraged customer eventually left, sans “Mild” sauce.
We may have all had bumpy weekends, but this lady was forced to explain and justify her devotion to a taco condiment in front of actual police officers. She (and everyone forced to wait behind her in line) definitely deserves restitution for emotional damages.