This Statue Honoring Cristiano Ronaldo Is Unbelievably Horrifying

Though I’ve spent my fair share of time drooling over various chiseled athletes, I have to admit that soccer players hold a special place in my shameless thirst—specifically Cristiano Ronaldo.

The Portuguese soccer player is infamous for his unbelievably swoon-worthy good looks both on and off the field. Unfortunately, a recently erected statue intended to immortalize Ronaldo’s steamy likeness is becoming the object of internet ridicule after an incomprehensibly horrifying debut.

Prepare yourself, nightmares are eminent.

Portuguese soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo is infamous around the world not only for his skills on the field, but for his utterly drool-worthy physique.

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We might just need a minute here…

On Wednesday, the thirst-trap *ahem* Ronaldo was honored by his hometown, Funchal (Portugal’s Madeira region), in a ceremony where the local airport was renamed after him.

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He pulls off that suit almost as well as his stripped down soccer “uniform”. Almost.

The Madeira Airport has been deemed the Cristiano Ronaldo Madeira International Airport and I will sit in this airport all day everyday.

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What do you get the man who has everything? An airport, you get him an airport.

In addition to this most prestigious honor, a statue commemorating Ronaldo was unveiled at the ceremony and it’s HORRIFYING.

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I don’t understand…

And if we zoom in a little closer…DEAR GOD.

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What nightmare-inducing bullshit is this??

HOW did we get from here to THERE?

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This cannot be happening. As if a floating head statue isn’t cringeworthy enough on its own, they had to go and summon the demons of hell to create this monster.

Clearly, Ronaldo is doing his best not to be rude.

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But we know he’s really thinking, What TF did I do to deserve this?

Of course, it was only a matter of time before the internet got a hold of this monstrosity and began roasting the soccer player’s unfortunate bust.

Apparently, this isn’t the first issue Ronaldo has encountered with statue-makers.

In fact, he appears to be quite aroused in this particular erection…

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Oh, my.

But this, this is just cruel.

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Gah! And there goes any hope of sleeping for the next month.

Fortunately, there are plenty of shirtless Ronaldo photos to help wash this hideous statue out of our brains.

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Much better.

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