It’s finally that time of the week again, when we scour the darkest corners of Amazon to find out what the sinners are shopping for. This week may actually be one of the filthiest yet, but don’t take or word for it, check out these deviant products for yourself.
Just don’t forget to browse incognito, it’s about to get very NSFW in here.
1. This mini 10-speed bullet vibrator
First up on our list this week is a bright yellow mini bullet vibrator with 10 different speeds to give you the ultimate pleasure experience. One reviewer said, “this little sucker packs a surprisingly strong punch for its size/price! Before we started using this in the bedroom, I would use it as a pressure point massage and it was wonnnddderrfffuuulll.”
Get it on Amazon for $6.99
2. These WTF sticky notes
We all have one of those coworkers that never fails to get under our skin in the most infuriating ways. Instead of lashing out at said colleague, try leaving them one of these ingenious WTF sticky notes that will express your angst for you.
Get it on Amazon for $5.30
3. This gentleman’s fart button
Because nothing says “gentleman” quite like a gold fart button…Not only does this contraption make fart noises, but it also poses classy questions such as “Who sliced the bree?”
Get it on Amazon for $12.95
4. This seriously disturbing wall mural
This next product is one of the most confusingly erotic pieces of art I’ve ever seen. A nun and a unicorn meet and then she performs fellatio on his horn? WHY!? However, the product has a solid 4.5 stars on Amazon and customers are loving the comments it inspires with visitors.
Get it on Amazon for $29.99
5. This anatomically correct whale dildo
Dear God. “Anatomically correct” is a fair phrase to use for this monstrous flesh-toned dildo, as are “terrifying” and “obscene.” Nothing about this product is appealing and it may just give me nightmares. However, many reviewers are loving the whale member saying it exceeded all expectations. Hmmmm.
Get it on Amazon for $56.99
6. This stress-relieving scream jar
Though this product appears to be slightly sexual in nature, it’s actually intended as a stress reliever. You simply hold it up to your mouth and scream into it as loud as you like. The jar is completely sound-proof so you can release all of your pent up aggression without disturbing others.
Get it on Amazon for $58.86
7. These fake pregnancy tests
These fake pregnancy tests are just cruel. What kind of monster would think this is funny!? I understand April Fool’s Day is here and all, but this is just too much.
Get it on Amazon for $13.99
8. This men’s puppy pouch novelty underwear
My personal favorite item on our sinners list this week is this puppy pouch g-string for men. It’s equal parts hilarious and adorable. So who wants to try it on? Any takers?
Get it on Amazon for $14.95
9. This brutally honest bumper sticker
How great would it be to plaster a few of these stickers onto an unsuspecting friend’s vehicle? As far as gag gifts go, this is A+ material right here.
Get it on Amazon for $5.99
10. This fish-shaped pocket pussy for men
Jesus. WHY? What could possibly possess a man to want to stick his “member” into a fish’s mouth? Does that really get you going? I don’t understand. However, one very satisfied customer had this to say about the product, “This sex toy is so amazingly soft and velvety feeling. I was actually surprised by how nice it felt after opening it out the package. I kind of expected the usual rubbery or silicone feel but it isn’t. It is very soft and feels very nice to the touch. It comes with a small pack of lube, which is an added bonus. The inside has ridges and edges to it to better simulate an actual woman, which i think is also a nice addition.”
Get it on Amazon for $24.98
11. This phenomenal coffee mug
Tbh, I’ve already dragged about 3 of these to my shopping cart. People are always stealing my coffee mugs and this is way more entertaining than writing my name with sharpie. Yes, that is my sex mug. Don’t touch it!
Get it on Amazon for $8.00
12. This purple strap-on dildo
If you and your partner have been looking for a way to spice things up in the bedroom, this purple strap-on might be just what your sex life needs. According to the product description, you can “Introduce your partner to fantasy back-door play. A harness for the timid with a perky silicone dildo. Sure to fulfill your every fantasy.”
Get it on Amazon for $19.40
13. This facial fitness flapper that is basically a Shake Weight for your mouth
Last, but certainly not least on our list this week is a product that can only be equated to a Shake Weight for your mouth. Seriously, WTF is that thing and what purpose could it possibly serve? The description insists that using it twice a day for 30 seconds will give you the youthful smile you’ve been wanting. Hmmm, I think I’m good.
Get it on Amazon for $123.96