Nordstrom is no stranger to tacking an exorbitant price tag on preposterous items that no one in their right might would willingly spend $20 on, let alone hundreds of dollars. It wasn’t so long ago that the company attempted to sell a rock in a leather pouch for a whopping $85. (As though you wouldn’t bargain hunt if you were buying a rock in a pouch? C’mon, guys.)
And now, Nordstrom’s penchant for the expensive and ridiculous has reared its well-groomed head yet again, in the form of jeans that are … already caked in mud.
Feast your eyes on the Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans. They cost you a cool $425, and come pre-smeared with some sort of brown grime (which is described as mud, but could easily be mistaken for poop).
The site describes the jeans as:
Heavily distressed medium-blue denim jeans in a comfortable straight-leg fit embody rugged, Americana workwear that’s seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you’re not afraid to get down and dirty.
(Um, I think Nordstrom is taking serious liberties with the usage of the term “heavily distressed.”)
Okay, I have several issues with these jeans, so let’s break this down:
- $425 is kind of a ridiculous price tag for casual jeans. Especially if you’re supposed to be roping cattle with them, or something.
- If you can afford $400 jeans, why do you need people to think you’ve been rolling around in the mud/trampled by steer?
- If you do need people to think you’ve been rolling around in the mud, couldn’t you just actually roll around in the mud, or something?
- Honestly, what kind of household task requires getting this much mud on yourself in the first place??
I will probably never get the answers to these questions, but at least I can take comfort in the fact that, should I ever become a very wealthy mud-wrestler, my uniform will be waiting for me.