Topshop Wants You To Buy These See-Through Plastic Pants, So You Can Feel Like A Moist Bag Of Trash

I don’t know if something is in the air or what (Spring, maybe?), but this seems to be the week for weird pants news.

Clothing company Topshop is currently raising eyebrows with one of their new garments: a pair of translucent, plastic pants, whose purpose remains utterly mystifying.

screen shot 2017 04 25 at 10 58 22 am Topshop Wants You To Buy These See Through Plastic Pants, So You Can Feel Like A Moist Bag Of Trash

The product description for these MOTO Clear Plastic Straight Leg Jeans reads:

Think outside the box with these out-of-the-ordinary clear plastic jeans – guaranteed to get people talking  Ideal as a statement piece for a festival or costume party, take the look to the extreme with a bikini and sequin jacket or dress down, layered under an oversize jumper or asymmetric hem dress.

Um, “guaranteed to get people talking”? Yeah. Careful what you wish for, Topshop.

Twitter is, needless to say, utterly baffled over these clear (and, I can only imagine, sticky) pants.

And, yes — you bet your butt that I’ve got some questions about these pants:

  1. Don’t invisible pants kind of negate the entire purpose of pants?
  2. Why would you want to wear plastic pants in the fresh heat of the impending summer? That’s sure to cause the world’s gnarliest case of swamp-ass.
  3. Wouldn’t these pants make a really obnoxious noise whenever you move? Like, you’re guaranteed to be followed around by a constant, irritating *squeak*.
  4. Even if the aforementioned points didn’t deter you, isn’t the $100 price tag enough to give you pause? Wouldn’t an expensive pair of clear, plastic pants make you say “Oh, never mind, I’ll spend my hundred dollars on literally anything else”?

If there’s a wad of money burning a whole in your pocket and you need a fashion piece that’s appropriate for pretty much nowhere, then I stand corrected and these pants may very well fit your lifestyle. If, however, you live in a climate where weather exists and you aren’t perpetually dancing in nightclubs from the ’90s, maybe you should give these particular pants a hard pass.

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