Thanks to Amy Schumer‘s upcoming comedy, Snatched, co-star Goldie Hawn has been making the media rounds lately — and it’s always refreshing to get a spoonful of Goldie wisdom, particularly when it comes to relationships.
Hawn has been in a relationship with actor Kurt Russell for 34 years, although the couple has never married. They originally met on the set of The One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band, but didn’t begin a relationship until several years later during the filming of Swing Shift. Kurt had recently divorced Season Hubley, and Goldie had two kids from her first marriage.
During a recent interview with People‘s Editor-in-Chief, Jess Cagle, Hawn opened up about her relationship with Russell and how they’ve made their dynamic work in Hollywood lo these many years.
“He was so good-looking, but he had no pretense about him. I could tell right away he wasn’t a womanizer,” Hawn says about her first impressions of Russell.
“What really got me was when I watched my kids when they’d come to the set and how he was with them,” she continued. “He was amazing with them. He was such a natural.”
So, what are the keys for a successful relationship, even in the spotlight? Hawn goes on to describe the necessary balance you need to strike in order for a relationship to work — and last. “Love, gratitude, compassion, because sometimes every man or every woman will drive their partner crazy. Family. Fun. Laughs. Sex. If you don’t nurture that, and remember, you’re done.”
Hawn also isn’t overly romantic when it comes to the idea of monogamy, noting that she believes it’s difficult to quell our natural tendency to desire or look at other people.
“Monogamy is a very tough order,” she says. “You’re in the prime of your life, you are attracted to other people, potentially, you have fantasies about that. It really runs the risk, if you will, if you’re not aware that you could maybe screw up a really good thing by doing that.”
She says that she doesn’t believe you should necessarily act on those feelings, but it’s important to be realistic about the inevitability of those feelings, and to not make yourself or your partner feel guilty for having them.
“It’s being honest about those feelings,” she says. “I’ve seen it before, I’m sure I’ve been party to it, and Kurt’s been — we’re all normal this way. It’s like, ‘You really liked that guy, didn’t you?’ Or the woman says, ‘You were looking at her.’ My answer would be, ‘Of course. Why not? She’s beautiful.’ Would you want a man who doesn’t look? Who doesn’t feel inspired by the beauty or the curves of a woman’s body? Or the way she is? I mean, come on. We’re human beings.”
She adds, “There is, I guess, an elasticity to the relationship. Otherwise it’s going to break, just like a rubber band.”
Most importantly, it’s all about intention, and wanting to make things work, as opposed to expecting everything to be perfect.
“It’s not that we don’t have these hurdles — it’s how we deal with them. And that’s the key.”