When you’re catcalled on the street, there’s a decent chance you simply ignore the lewd or salacious comments — but what if you were to actually own them and accept them? Would the results be any different, or would men still find a way to be dissatisfied with your response?
Feminist social worker, activist and author Feminista Jones recently shared a tweet which reverberated with women all over the Twitter community. Jones jokingly suggested that, as a social experiment, women try simply agreeing with unsolicited compliments bestowed upon them by the opposite sex — as doing so would surely piss off the men.
Jones continued the thread, saying that her past experiences taught her that men often don’t respond well when women actually accept and agree with their compliments.
Many women responded to Jones’ comments, and several even shared screenshots of their own similar interactions.
As it turns out, many women have utterly confused men when they dared to show confidence in the face of a pickup line.
As one user pointed out, the whole phenomenon is indicative of a problematic double-standard which women encounter daily.
Much like the famous One Direction song, many men are only enchanted when beautiful women are clueless to their beauty.
“It’s not a new idea, but in my own experience when (a man) complimented me and I say, ‘I agree,’ they get upset,” Jones told BuzzFeed News. “It’s the idea that they bestow the compliment on you, and you’re not supposed to be aware of it.”
“Generally we’re taught that we’re not supposed to compliment ourselves,” she added. “When a women does that, she needs to be humble.”
Right. Because taking pride in your own appearance is considered cocky, as opposed to self-actualized. Cool. I guess I’ll keep trying to look my best and then feigning ignorance when I actually achieve the desired effect.
Jones reminds men that even though she is aware that this is not necessarily every man’s reaction, it’s still important to listen when women talk about this kind of problem.
“This is my blanket commentary: Just because you don’t do it or you don’t see it being done, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. When men go, ‘Not all men,’ they make it about ‘I’ve never seen it, I’ve never done it…so it can’t be true.’ I’m saying to listen to what women are saying — try to understand what’s going on.”