It seems like not a week goes by without somebody pulling some lame or tasteless shenanigans that make us say, in unison, “Wait, what?”
Because if there’s one thing you can count on public figures for, it’s an endless stream of social gaffes, questionable choices, and tweets they definitely regretted in the morning.
Here are just a few folks who made this week’s list of unfortunate life choices. Let’s collectively learn from their unfortunate errors, shall we?
1. Michael Cohen
Trump’s personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, raised eyebrows earlier this week when he tweeted out a lingerie photo of his daughter, Sasha. In the tweet, Cohen bragged about his “Ivy League” daughter’s “brains and beauty,” saying that she was channeling her “inner Edie Sedgwick.”
The photo was apparently a recreation of the famous Edie Sedgwick photo take by Andy Warhol. However, many took umbrage to Cohen comparing the watered-down photo of Sasha to the original, provocative portrait of Sedgwick. “Gaze is not demure and downward. It is direct,” Shannon Coulter wrote, comparing the two photos. “She is not sitting on draped furniture. She is sitting on a man as if he was furniture. Sedgwick represented the epitome of the modern female sexuality the Trump administration is doing everything in its power to suppress. She was an original who would have detested Donald Trump & anyone who helped or represented him. Keep her name out of your mouth.”
Oh, and then there was that tiny little detail where Cohen was literally tweeting out a photo of his half-naked daughter.
Cohen’s response to the criticism? Somehow even more creepy that the initial lingerie post.
Please, old white dudes: stop publicly sexualizing your daughters. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say that, but this is what we’ve come to.
2. Mark Walker
House Rep Mark Walker (R-N.C.) got his panties in a twist this week when photos were released of the new duckling ramps surrounding the Capitol Reflecting Pool. The ramps are intended to help little ducklings get in and out of the water safely.
However, Walker saw fit to decry the government-funded ramps as a “waste.”
Um, really, Mark? You really want to instigate a war on adorable ducklings??
The Capitol even tweeted out a video of the ramp in use, and it’s hard to imagine how anyone could begrudge something so harmless and cute.
And speaking of government waste, I’m curious as to what Walker thinks of Trump’s weekly trips to Mar-A-Lago, at the taxpayer’s expense …
3. Tim Gurner
This Australian millionaire and property mogul gave an interview to 60 Minutes this week in which he trashed millennials for … ordering avocado toast?
According to Gurner, the popular breakfast item is almost singlehandedly responsible for financial woes among modern younger demographics. “When I was trying to buy my first home, I wasn’t buying smashed avocado for $19 and four coffees at $4 each,” he says.
To which I just have to say: where the FUCK are you dining, Gurner? Who in their right mind charges $20 for a serving of avocado toast??
However, Gurner stuck to his preposterous theory, claiming, “I have seen young people order smashed avocado with crumbled feta on five-grain toasted bread at $22 a pop and more.” (Again, one has to wonder where the hell this guy is going for brunch on any given weekend.)
“We’re at a point now where the expectations of younger people are very, very high,” Gruner said. “They want to eat out every day, they want to travel to Europe every year. The people that own homes today worked very, very hard for it, saved every dollar, did everything they could to get up the property investment ladder.”
Gee — you don’t think that perhaps it’s the housing market or the crippling amount of national student loan debt to blame, do you, Gruner?
Nah. It’s definitely the goddamn avocados.
4. This Guy Who’s Suing His Date For Texting During A Movie
Brandon Vezmar, a 37-year-old in Austin, Texas, made headlines this week when news broke that he was suing his female date for texting during Guardians of the Galaxy.
Okay, let me just admit off the bat that texting during movies is pretty obnoxious. The couple also happened to be viewing the movie at the Alamo Drafthouse, a theatre which infamously shames texters, and kicks them out of movies on a semi-regular basis. Drafthouse owner Tim League even banned Madonna from his theaters after she texted throughout a movie premiere.
In short: it was definitely a situation where texting was inappropriate.
However, the guy’s reaction to his date texting was somehow more monumentally obnoxious than the texting itself. Vezmar told his date that he was suing her for the $17.31 that she owed him for her movie ticket, and apparently even badgered her younger sister as a means of obtaining the money.
Which is a completely bonkers way to try to prove your point.
I understand that this guy thinks he’s the hero of the geeks for putting a texting girl in her place (and, credit where credit is due, I hate movie texters), but there’s also a limit to how much of a douchebag you can and should be to someone you’ve only had one date with — and I’m pretty sure serving them with a subpoena for less than twenty dollars in damages in the work of a sheer lunatic.
5. Whoever Gave The Greenlight To The Big Bang Theory Spinoff
I have no words. All I can say is, if you liked The Big Bang Theory, there’s a decent chance you’ll like this show. If, like me, you were really looking forward to saying goodbye to that particular series forever, then you will probably be disappointed.
Sorry, CBS, but you can KEEP IT.