It goes without saying that marriage is a huge commitment. The whole idea that you’ll *hopefully* spend the rest of your life committed to another human being is exciting and extremely terrifying—both for men and women.
There are millions of eligible singles out there who are hoping to find “the one” in the near future, but how do we do it? Reddit asked their community of married men what advice they would give to single guys about committing to the right person and the responses might just make you swoon.
1. sclerf had some pretty insightful advice to offer.
If you want to be truly happy in a relationship be completely honest from the beginning. This doesn’t mean tell her everything on your first date, but don’t lie about things that may be important to you just because you think it might get you laid.
2. We couldn’t agree more, tapehead4.
If you think you’ve found “the one,” ask yourself if that person would stick with you through thick and thin. The good AND the bad. If you’re even a bit unsure, he/she may not be “the one.”
I have a friend who lost his job and pretended to go to work for a week for fear of his wife would think/do. That marriage didn’t last. If that were to happen to me, my wife would be the first person I’d want to tell and run home to. Marry that person.
3. Bless you, Sewtwo2.
Listen to understand rather than listen to respond.
I think this goes for any relationship advice, but its super easy to listen to your wife trying to figure out how to respond; solve a problem, critique her issues, etc.
Sometimes the wife just wants to rant and if you’re busy figuring out how to respond, you’re not listening.
4. Average-as-hell has a very good point.
Honestly think about what you want.
Find someone that shares your passions not the first girl willing to suck your dick.
Date people, get a feel for it, meet people.
And make damn well sure your life goals are lined up and compatible. I got into a relationship with goals of traveling and having kids and maybe working less. Alas I am married to a woman who doesn’t want to travel, doesn’t want kids and doesn’t have a job. All this came out when I was on my way to my honeymoon.
Do your homework lads!
5. Communication is a biggie, ussrael.
Realize that your S.O. communicates differently than you. You can avoid alot of anger and arguments by knowing the difference between frustration vs. confrontational intention.
6. Effendoor thinks you should find someone who likes you for you.
if you cant be yourself around someone, they arent right for you.
if you have a deep love for dungeons and dragons, or football, or guns, or biking, dont make a secret of it.
that doesnt mean beat whoever your dating over the head with it, but talk about it.
some shared interests are important in a relationship imho. obviously not ALL interests should be shared, my wife likes reality tv, I like zombies. those dont mesh for each other. but we share enough common interests that we can watch anime together and play D&D every weekend.
7. slapuwithafish points out that boundaries are important.
Establish boundaries very early on and stick to them. My wife is a great person and I love her, BUT…..
…her family is extremely pushy, domineering and controlling. They show up whenever they want, stay over days or weeks at a time, clean up our house to their standards, borrow money from her, call during dinner, etc. Every single cliché you see in goofy romantic movies. Now its getting hard to break up that dynamic without looking like the bad guy.
8. You are very wise, Srslywhyumadbro.
If you want to marry an awesome person, see to it that you are doing everything you can to be awesome.
If you have lots of “potential” but aren’t actualizing it, start there.
9. A little mystery definitely helps, WoollyMuffler.
Nice guys don’t finish last, boring guys do.
You can be the nicest, sweetest guy on the planet but still be so boring that women won’t come near you.
10. I would certainly hope not, ctucker79.
You don’t have to marry the first girl you have had sex with.
11. SmellsLikeBread knows we aren’t mind readers.
Talk about things. Sitting in moody silence for hours (or days in extreme cases) will only eat away at the relationship. When I say talk, I don’t mean try once and then give up, I mean push to get everything out in the open. Whilst it might be awkward to begin with, it can feel cathartic when you’re over whatever it was. And I say this because it’s somewhat surprising how many exchanges you can have that are the result of misunderstandings.
Oh, and put your ego to one side if you do this. It won’t work if you don’t do that first.
12. Preach, axisdelasal.
Don’t let your partner stop you from progressing on your professional life (also don’t stop your partner from progressing). That create scars that later on will affect the relationship.
13. futuretinman, will you please marry me?
Do what you want when you are young and when you find the women you want to marry, take it seriously, don’t cheat don’t mess about. Be honest with her.
I have ‘friends’ who cheat on their wives with one night stands, and I honestly don’t know how they can look their wives in their eyes.