If you’re dating an athletic person, it’s often widely assumed that you should also be athletic. The same goes for every body type out there, from curvy to lanky, tall to short. It’s a weird unspoken social norm that our significant other is supposed to mirror our body type.
Fortunately, there are people out there who are calling attention to this weird and misleading assumption about which body types are “allowed” to date one another.
A body-positive Instagram user who goes by “Jazzy” recently shared a snapshot of herself and her husband at the beach. She says that she felt compelled to share the photo in order to prove that you don’t need to have the same body type as your partner to be happy together.
The caption reads:
Over the years this man has loved every curve, every roll, and every stretch mark on my body. I never understood why! How could he love something that isn’t “perfect”? How could a man who was “born fit” love someone like me! I don’t have a flat stomach, I jiggle when I walk, hell if I run up the stairs to fast my body claps (lmao)!! But now I see I do have the “perfect” body!! Every roll, every curve and every stretch mark is put on me just perfect to make both of us happy!!! I love my body and I finally see why he does too!!
Which is really an important lesson in self-worth, and trusting that what makes you unique and lovable has nothing to do with your body type. Just because you’re dating a guy with washboard abs, that doesn’t mean you should feel guilted into exercising, or rue your body for not being cut and chiseled.
When someone starts dating you, it’s because they were attracted to YOU in the first place — not because they hoped you would eventually change.
Naturally, after such a positive post, Jazzy has already received plenty of negative responses from haters who feel compelled to shame her for not being as slender as her husband. Jazzy responded to one particularly negative message via an Instagram caption:
Earlier this morning I got this very negative comment! Starting this journey publicly I knew that I would get some negative comments and I TRIED to prepare myself for the day that they started. But when I saw this comment no lie it hurt! It stabbed me hard, harder then I thought it was going to! So I had to take a step back and think to myself .. why would someone be so hateful of another person! Why would they say such rude things. But then I figured it out! People like this hate on others because they are not happy with themselves! This person does not know me! They don’t know that I am VERY healthy and WILL live for my kids! They don’t know that I eat healthy, hike, go to the gym all the time and can most likely out lift them any day! Just because I’m a big girl doesn’t mean I’m unhealthy and promoting being unhealthy! I’m simply promoting loving yourself the way you are! Never did I say unhealthy is the way to be. So for others that want to downplay me as a person and what I am trying to accomplish, go ahead leave your negative comment! They will only be used as fuel to my fire of promoting happiness!!
So, yeah: in summation, being skinny doesn’t automatically make you fit, and being plus-size doesn’t actually mean that you aren’t active or treating your body well. More importantly, couples don’t need to have the same body type — and it’s absurd to shame people for not being as “toned” as their significant other.
As for Jazzy and her husband (and their two kids), they seem pretty happy, regardless of the Instagram haters.