Being a father is no easy job. It comes with a plethora of responsibilities and hard work, but the good ones try their very best and that’s all we really want— a dad who cares. Even if they make terrible jokes or epically fail at staying “hip with the kids”, you can’t blame them for putting the effort in.
One of the best parts about being a dad (or mom) is the ability to embarrass your children, especially when they hit their too cool for school teenage years. Even if they don’t intend it, parents seem to have a knack for mortifying us in public. It’s like it’s part of their job or something. So, in celebration of those embarrassing fathers everywhere, we took to Reddit to find some of the most hilarious dad stories and they did not disappoint.
1. MasticationAddict‘s father should’ve just stayed in the car.
You think your dad is terrible? I have to say, its my dad wearing tight biker shorts without a cup when he was picking me up from school in 9th grade. He got out the car so he could meet my friends.
2. We’re no stranger to what anthonymyers3000‘s was trying to pull.
My dad pretended to go to sleep on one of the store model beds at sears. He kept it up for over an hour while me and my sister pretended not to know him.
3. Maxakhan‘s father was a little too cool for school.
4. foreoki12‘s dad sounds like the ultimate spectator.
My dad was a terribly embarrassing spectator at our sports events. He wasn’t a Randy Marsh, by any means. Instead he just did things like wear a baseball cap at a weird angle to block the sun, or bring a rocking chair to sit in because bleachers were uncomfortable. Once, after a soccer game, he tried to climb the short chain-link fence that separated the bleachers from the field, and got stuck. With his hat at an absurd jaunty angle, of course. I just about died.
5. Someone might smack TheHollowNoise‘s dad if he doesn’t watch himself.
Basically whenever we walk by any foreign person, he just starts talking to them in their accent or even worse, what he thinks is their accent. One in particular stands out though, we were in the city and a Jamaican lady walks up to him and says she’ll suck his dick for 10 dollars. So my father looks directly at her and says something like “Mon we not makin a ting about it girl!”
6. Not sure who was more embarrassed Send_Your_Nudes_2_Me or their mother.
7. autumnx‘s friends thought her dad was pretty hip.
One time in middle school my dad dropped a group of us off at the mall. We were looking to buy the 50 cent CD as it first came out (yep a group of white female pre-teens). Our town is really small and the store we went to (Fye I believe) sold out of it. The employee said some guy bought the last copy but they’ll have more tomorrow. So, we leave. My dad comes to pick us up later and as we get in the car and drive off, we hear a 50 cent song. My dad is rapping along and shows us the CD cover. He bought it. For himself. I was mortified and my friends were amazed.
8. MasterBlaster234‘s dad is a little behind the times.
My dad just started randomly screaming “Do the Gangnam Style baby!!!” In public, get with the times old man.
9. Mindfucker815 doesn’t think his dad was as funny as we do.
In 7th grade, my dad was the principal of my middle school. During our awards day at the end of the year he gave me a certificate for having the hottest mom and I had to walk up in front of everyone to get it.
10. We have many questions about PattyCakes1‘s story.
Step dad put me in one of those baby seats on top of a grocery cart then proceded to quickly lock it and walk around the store casually. I was flailing around and screaming like a idiot because i didn’t know how to unbuckle it and was so embarrassed to let logic sink in. I was 14 and still very small.
11. FoolOfMyself‘s dad pulled a typical dad prank.
My sister had a few of her friends over and they were hanging out on the backyard. My dad gets a big scoop of peanut butter and sticks it on the heel of his sneaker. Walks over to them, “the hell is that on my shoe? Is that dog poop?” Smells it, licks it “Ewwww it is dog poop!” All her friends freak out and my sister is mortified.
12. moshthecows‘ mom was the real joker in the family.
Fair play to her because it was kind of funny it didn’t seem that way at the time though. I had a girl over once and my mom referred to my room as the ‘masturbatorium’.
The girl half laughed, i was embarrassed as fuck and my mother was very proud of herself.
I have a young mom and all my friends thinks she is hilarious but it can be so embarrassing when your mom cracks out penis jokes all the time.
13. gorocketshipgo‘s friends definitely did not expect that.
14. splosionp‘s dad loved to tell drunken embarrassing stories about his kiddo and also forgot his name.
Was my dads birthday and the night had been going on for a while. He had been drinking whiskey with our guests (some relatives). Anyway a friend of mine knocks on the door and wants me to go out with him, I ask if they would mind me leaving but my dad decides it’s a great opportunity to offer us some whiskey. I’m thinking whatever, though I would have preferred leaving. Since my dad is starting to cross the line of tipsy to drunk he has a storytime to all our guests. The story was how in kindergarten all the girls apparently wanted to be my friends because I had a huge penis. Speechless I’m staring in the void for a few minutes and decide it’s the time for me and my friend to leave. To be fair that was just one friend but still I was very embarrassed.
There is also the time when my dad forgot my name publicly when introducing himself to my confirmation group (a christian thing). He didn’t forget it smoothly but instead called me with a wrong name. The name was close enough to resembling my name that people could think they misheard, but my mom had to “quietly” whisper and correct him.
15. Dad jokes could have ruined grim_wizard‘s chances with his crush.
Whenever I went to get doughnuts my father would stand in line and ask me “Son do you want some dog nuts” in a vain attempt to be funny. One day after we got doughnuts I told him in the car, “The cashier was a girl I’ve been trying to impress forever, next time don’t ask me if I want dog testicles for breakfast.”