Anyone who has enjoyed their fair share of herbal goodies can attest to the resulting feelings of relaxation. Of course, sometimes this chilled out state can cause you to do things your sober self would normally stop you from doing. For example, eating an entire pizza or ordering hundreds of McNuggets at the drive through.
Reddit recently asked its audience about the dumbest things they’ve done while stoned and their responses are pure gold.
1. dannymix can’t complain.
Went to McDonalds to get mcnuggets, in my head I ordered correctly, but then I was given 7 m&m mcflurries.
2. younastag is going to be looking for that sandwich for a while.
I was eating a sandwich while browsing the internet. I put down my sandwich to open a new tab, typed something, found what I was looking for, and then spent what felt like a minute searching for the tab that would take me back to my sandwich.
3. I would’ve done that sober, RaeZollo.
Saw a huge spider on the wall and decided the best way to kill it was with a straight leg lunge. I put a gigantic hole in the wall, and I have no idea what happened to the spider.
4. Living_Daydreams learned a valuable lesson.
I was riding my bike and, to avoid hitting a mailbox, I leaned on a bush to my right. No big deal, it’s like scraping your arm on a nearby branch. Mt arm starts tingling and I look and see 3 needles stuck to it, the bush was a cactus.
To this day, my memory of it is a bush, but every time I drive by the place it happened I very clearly see big cactus…
5. Jarranger, that is disgusting.
A few years back after breaking my leg, I was enjoying a smoke in the afternoon and needed to pee, tried to get on my crutches but couldn’t balance and fell on my arse. Deciding it was too much effort to make my way to the bathroom I pissed in a bottle with the intention of throwing it straight out as soon as I could walk – I quickly forgot about it and when I went to alleviate my cotton-mouth I inadvertently grabbed the pee bottle instead of my drink and ended up with a mouthful of my own piss
TL;DR: Accidentally drank my pee
6. ALasagnaForOne could’ve burnt his house down.
Tried to cook a frozen pizza alone.
First, I took the pizza out of the freezer and put it in the oven. I set a timer and went to watch TV. When the timer went off, I came back only to find it still cold as I hadn’t turned on the oven at all. I turn the knob, set another timer and go back to the TV, when my fire alarm suddenly starts screaming so I rush to the kitchen to find that instead of the oven, I actually turned on a stove burner and it set a nearby wooden spoon on fire. I toss the flaming utensil in the sink, reset the alarm, and finally turn the oven on and get the pizza cooking. Except I forgot to set a timer so, while I sat spacing out at the TV, my pizza has burned itself into a black frisbee that basically disintegrated in my hands.
7. But why, matarky1?
I microwaved a steak then ate it with straight minced garlic.
8. It happens to the best of us, medalleaf-.
Got a sprite at taco bell and asked for extra hot sauce.
9. silkymittons, ew.
Poured ketchup on my pop corn at the movies thinking it was butter..
It was the first time i went to a movie alone and i was high as shit.
10. Dranzhar adopted a pet rock.
Wasn’t stoned but 2 friends and I were off our faces the first time trying MDMA. We lived right next to a country park and it was getting a little dark.
We walked around exclaiming how much we loved each other until we all stopped dead in our tracks and examined this massive frog that was in the path. We were all sweating our absolute backs off and I specifically remember one of my friends removing his glasses and wiping them on his tee whilst saying “HEY THERE LITTLE FELLA, WHATCHA DOIN?” then nudged it with his foot.
It was a fucking rock. It didn’t even look like a frog but for some reason all 3 of us thought it was. Didn’t even comprehend how funny it was at the time because we were pretty sure we’d witnessed magic lol
11. Been there, done that jehovasgettinit.
Dropped my phone in the toilet, peed on it, then tried to rinse it off in the sink.
12. soccerg510, that’s depressing.
I was in a graveyard and I saw a tombstone with my last name on it and I thought it was mine. Like I had reserved a spot in the graveyard for one day.
13. That makes sense, bubblymayden.
Was taking a shower with my so, and peaked, sat down, and he offered me a towel when he was done, I said no, the towel will get wet. He cracked up.