How to make friends, according to these terribly sarcastic pieces of advice

1. Add a compliment to a ripped sheet of paper and pass it along

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2. Find someone who dislikes the same things you do

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3. Try out this cheesy pun next time you want to befriend someone in the bathroom

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4. Compliment their shoes, obviously

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5. Score someone’s number by doing what this kid did

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6. Make it weird even if they don’t have a beard

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7. Bring wine, even if they don’t like it

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8. Remember to apologize after kicking them in the face

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9. Listen to your parents

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10. Agree even if you can’t relate to their life struggles

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11. Tell the person who doesn’t have a crush on you the truth, so you can at least be awkward friends

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12. Get drunk and go to the bathroom

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13. Make sure they like pizza right away

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14. Surprise them with your weirdness later on

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