To be fair, everyone is allowed their “blonde moments”—those few and far between times when we say something that isn’t quite the high point of our intelligence. However, some of these moments are significantly more mortifying than others. Reddit asked its users about the dumbest conversations they’ve ever overheard and the responses are pure gold.
1. SaltAndOil, I cannot with this person.
“Dude slept with me and didn’t even tell me he had Cancer. Now I got it!”
2. Electric_Evil might need to buy this person a text book.
“The Sun isn’t a star, it’s the Sun, stars are a totally different thing.”
3. Wulvric, um what?
“We are running out of gravity.”
4. thewerepuppygrr, please direct them towards the nearest exit.
Two people looking at a Titanic display.
Woman: “Urgh, all this over a conspiracy!”
Man: “What do you mean?”
Woman: “You can’t tell me that an experienced captain managed not to see a ginormous iceberg in the middle of the ocean.”
Man: “Well…it was night time.”
5. glitterswirl, maybe she’s already had too much.
“Imagine if weed grew on trees”.
6. BlackBloodedLord should probably be concerned for this person’s safety.
“Its called rat poison, not people poison.”
7. theoptionexplicit, that cannot be justified with a response.
“Books are obsolete in this day and age, unless it’s one that shows you how to fuck better.”
8. gil_beard, did he never take sex-ed?
My buddy has slept with over 50 girls. He constantly brags about never using a condom. It’s going to catch up to him eventually.
9. What did he think would happen, Sigmar_Heldenhammer?
While scanning someone’s Drivers License for a credit check:
Guy: “You didn’t tell me this would involve lasers!”
Me: “I have to enter the information somehow.”
Guy: “I don’t want lasers. That’s how the government gets your information!”
From your drivers license… Issued by the government… Pretty sure they already have this information.
10. Brnadon should probably find some new coworkers.
Working in construction, the list goes on forever. The other day I head two guys walking buy and one of them goes
“Yeah! Like what if your dick got wet like a pussy when you got horny?”
These guys are the reason I’m getting out of this industry.
11. Well they’re in for a surprise, Back2Bach.
The most memorable instance was when I overheard two women discussing their vacation plans.
One said, “We’re going to Aruba.”
The other said, “So, where is Aruba?”
The answer was: “Who knows – we’re flying!”
12. abx88, maybe she was having a blonde moment.
“Isn’t the Grand Canyon located on top of a mountain?” – My buddy’s girlfriend.
13. shubtauer has an excellent point.
“No, we never used condoms cause I always peed out his cum after.”
And that’s how you end up pregnant in high school with your parents raising your kid as your niece.
14. Axaro_ should probably just walk away.
Person A: are penguins birds? Person B: nah, they don’t fly Person A: so they’re fish? Person B: nah they don’t breathe water Person A: so what are they? Person B: they’re just penguins? Y’know you’ve got mammals, birds, fish, and penguins
15. Well Tenacious_jb, I guess I’ve been doing it all wrong.
While working out at the gym the couple beside me “You are not supposed to break a sweat indoors”
16. I don’t even know what to say, Buckwinn.
At the local Tex Mex place: Can we have a side of guacamole, but without the avocado?
17. GA45, please educate that poor child.
In biology class talking about reintroducing wolves back into the wild in Scotland. Girl in class “haha wolves don’t exist they’re mythical creatures”