This teenage bucket list is so hilariously baffling that Twitter is completely obsessed

During your teenage years, the summer becomes an incredible time, full of sexual possibilities and opportunities to reinvent yourself — in theory, anyway. As such, expectations of summer shenanigans are often lofty when you’re a high schooler.

One girl apparently decided to take matters into her own hands in regards to summer adventures, and made a “Summer Bucket List.” Unfortunately for her/fortunately for bored people like you and me, she accidentally left that list in a dressing room.

Recently, Twitter user @scorpiosars shared a photo of a handwritten bucket list she apparently found in an Urban Outfitters.

The list is mesmerizing, to say the list — I mean, least. Some of the included goals are:

  • “Have sex”
  • “Go to a party”
  • “Sports game” (ANY sports game??)
  • “Pet a giraffe” (Hello, this is SO MUCH more important than sex)
  • “Get drunk all the time”
  • “Artsy 4th of July” (I have no idea what this means)
  • “Get a boob hickey” (Oddly specific)
  • “Have a lemonade stand with Zoe”

Okay, is this girl a 12-year-old or a 30-year-old?? It’s honestly impossible to tell when “Get a boob hickey” and “Pet a giraffe” are on the same list of goals. Also, I need to know what constitutes an “artsy” 4th of July.

The rest of Twitter was equally confused/captivated.

Some people made vain attempts to guess the mysterious list-maker’s age.

Some even felt compelled to share their own found lists.

Also, for anyone who was confused by the term “cross-faded,” don’t worry — you’re not alone.

We may never know the true identity of this ambitious teen, but one thing is certain: we should ALL probably step up our summer game, with serious go-getters like this girl out there.

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