17 disturbingly funny books you should definitely keep away from kids

Who said kids should get all the fun?! Adults like stories too. And stories with pictures? Bonus!

Look, we’re not here to tell you what to do with your free time. But maybe save these books for later, you know, when the kids are asleep. (HAHAHAHAHA …. sleep.)

1. Go the F**k to Sleep by Adam Mansbach, illustrated by Ricardo Cortés

51lyilw0o l  sy373 bo1204203200  17 disturbingly funny books you should definitely keep away from kids

“California Book Award-winning author Adam Mansbach’s verses perfectly capture the familiar–and unspoken–tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. In the process, they open up a conversation about parenting, granting us permission to admit our frustrations, and laugh at their absurdity.”

Get it here for $13.46

2. Nobody Likes a Cockblock by R. Swanson, illustrated by Jess Jansen 

screen shot 2017 07 18 at 10 51 02 am 17 disturbingly funny books you should definitely keep away from kids

Nobody Likes A Cockblock is a full color paperback children’s book for adults about woodland creature moms and dads just trying to get their swerve on.”

Get it here for $12.63

3. If You Give Mommy A Glass Of Wine by Renee Charytan, illustrated by Rick Van Hattum

51uu2bheull  sy498 bo1204203200  17 disturbingly funny books you should definitely keep away from kids

If You Give a Mommy a Glass of Wine is a modern mother-honoring parody of a classic children’s book.

Get it here for $9.99

4. Fuck You Sun by Matt Cole, illustrated by Rigel Stuhmiller

51hkcnfivzl  sy362 bo1204203200  17 disturbingly funny books you should definitely keep away from kids

“It’s the morning after Bunny’s big night out, and he is learning that there is a hefty price tag glued firmly to the base of that swanky bit of revelry.”

Get it here for $8.99

5. K is for Knifeball: An Alphabet of Terrible Advice by Jory John and Avery Monsen

these books look like theyd be for children but youd be a monster to 2 17 disturbingly funny books you should definitely keep away from kids

“Adorable illustrated characters lead readers down a path of poor decision-making, and alphabetical, rhyming couplets offer terrible life lessons in which O is for opening things with your teeth, F is for setting Daddy’s wallet on fire…”

Get it here for $6.90

6. Do You Want To Play With My Balls? by the Cifaldi Brothers, illustrated by Santiago Elizalde 

61gkfjitp7l  sy498 bo1204203200  17 disturbingly funny books you should definitely keep away from kids

“Go ahead, read it to the kids! They’ll love it, but won’t have a clue as to why you’re turning blue with laughter!”

Get it here for $14.95

7. The Big Black Cock by Ashley Sun and Ashley Luffing, illustrated by Chinmoy Mondal and Pritam Polley

512pgichbgl  sy498 bo1204203200  17 disturbingly funny books you should definitely keep away from kids

“This book was inspired by the reality of life where bigger is always better.”

Get it here for $11.25

8. Would You Like To Play With My Ass? by Gary Galvin

51zfd5rvs4l  sx398 bo1204203200  17 disturbingly funny books you should definitely keep away from kids

“My ass is big, my ass is strong, when you play with my ass, you’re never wrong…”

Get it here for $14.85

9. I Hate Everything by Matthew DiBenedetti

 51vqxugbvl  sx437 bo1204203200  17 disturbingly funny books you should definitely keep away from kids

“Amateur haters, step aside. Time to learn what it really means to be miserable.”

Get it here for $8.11

10. All My Friends Are Dead by Jory John and Avery Monsen

41cadqcexl  sx376 bo1204203200  17 disturbingly funny books you should definitely keep away from kids

“If you’re a dinosaur, all of your friends are dead. If you’re a pirate, all of your friends have scurvy. If you’re a tree, all of your friends are end tables.”

Get it here for $6.92

11. Penguins Hate Stuff by Greg Stones 

41sszl6gjgl  sy359 bo1204203200  17 disturbingly funny books you should definitely keep away from kids

“This quirky collection reveals the discriminating tastes of these adorable flightless Antarctic birds who encounter odd foes (snow sharks, beavers, cowboys, samurai…), but still manage to enjoy the little things in life.”

Get it here for $9.93

12. Unicorn Being a Jerk by C. W. Moss 

61w71eogbzl  sy427 bo1204203200  17 disturbingly funny books you should definitely keep away from kids

“Take a gander at what these fantastical creatures are really like, in comics like Unicorn Being a Stalker, Unicorn Trying to Peek at Breast-feeding Woman’s NippleUnicorn Denying the Holocaust, and more.”

Get it here for $9.58

13. The Book of Bunny Suicides: Little Fluffy Rabbits Who Just Don’t Want to Live Anymore by Andy Riley 

51w7hho8hml  sy375 bo1204203200  17 disturbingly funny books you should definitely keep away from kids

“This cult hit and international bestseller follows over one hundred bunnies as they find ever more outlandish ways to do themselves in.”

Get it here for $9.61

14. Maybe Your Leg Will Grow Back!: Looking on the Bright Side with Baby Animals by Amanda McCall and Ben Schwartz

51zns1m9url  sy310 bo1204203200  17 disturbingly funny books you should definitely keep away from kids

“Finding the bright side of a terrible situation has never been easier, thanks to the adorable baby animal postcards found in Maybe Your Leg Will Grow Back.”

Get it here for $9.36

15. Bi-Curious George: An Unauthorized Parody by Andrew Simonian

51rnk3uo9bl 1  sx422 bo1204203200  17 disturbingly funny books you should definitely keep away from kids

“George was a straight little monkey but always very… curious. One day George saw a man. He had on a sassy purple beret. And George got excited, despite himself.”

Get it here for $35.87

16. Dancing with Jesus: Featuring a Host of Miraculous Moves by Sam Stall

51rxj4bnhgl  sx453 bo1204203200  17 disturbingly funny books you should definitely keep away from kids

“Are you cursed with two left feet? Are your dance moves unrighteous? Do you refrain from getting down lest others judge you cruelly? Fear not. Salvation is at hand.”

Get it here for $9.34

17. The Very Hungry Zombie: A Parody by Michael Teitelbaum

screen shot 2017 07 19 at 5 07 25 pm 17 disturbingly funny books you should definitely keep away from kids

“In this dead-on parody of a children’s classic, a very hungry zombie eats his way through a variety of his favorite foods, including clowns, astronauts, rock stars, fingers, and brains.”

Get it here for $9.52

Share Tweet E-email