The bios for contestants on MTV’s early 2000s dating show ‘Next’ are even more of a hot mess than you remember

This is writer, comedian, and musician Lane Moore

When she’s not busy writing thought-provoking pieces for a slew of publications, making us laugh on Twitter, jamming with her band, or selling out her hilarious show Tinder Live!, Lane fills her free time (wait she has free time!?) by cataloging bios from the early 2000s MTV dating show Next.

Her Instagram account ‘Hotties Of MTV’s Next is a cringe-inducing trip through the wild world of early 2000s reality television dating

the bios for contestants on mtvs early 2000s dating show next are even more of a hot mess than you remember 2 The bios for contestants on MTVs early 2000s dating show Next are even more of a hot mess than you remember

These bios will make you laugh, wince, and scratch your head wondering what TF people were thinking back then.

1. A true gay rights hero

thanks for your generous LGBTQ charity work, girl. #mtvnext #next #mtv

A post shared by Hotties of MTV's "Next" (@hottiesofmtvnext) on

2. “T-Money”

3. What a roller coaster

4. Anyone need a nanny who doesn’t know where to poop?

5. Ah, the one that got away…

i mean who doesn't. #hottiesofmtvnext #mtv #next #mtvnext

A post shared by Hotties of MTV's "Next" (@hottiesofmtvnext) on

6. “Workships”

7. Mike seems almost normal compared to some of these people

"Laughs hysterically when he farts" #hottiesofmtvnext #mtvnext

A post shared by Hotties of MTV's "Next" (@hottiesofmtvnext) on

8. Seems like there was a toilet shortage back in the early 2000s

9. Starts off normal and goes way down hill

smells his hands and upper lip compulsively #hottiesofmtvnext #mtvnext

A post shared by Hotties of MTV's "Next" (@hottiesofmtvnext) on

10. No margaritas for Hollie

I love eating huge amounts of limes too so I get it #mtvnext #hottiesofmtvnext

A post shared by Hotties of MTV's "Next" (@hottiesofmtvnext) on

11. Janet is truly inspirational

12. Roozbeh’s patience for capri pants ends well before the knee

same #mtvnext #hottiesofmtvnext

A post shared by Hotties of MTV's "Next" (@hottiesofmtvnext) on

13. Maybe leave that last one off your resume

sounds right. #hottiesofmtvnext #mtvnext

A post shared by Hotties of MTV's "Next" (@hottiesofmtvnext) on

14. I think a real genius might have chosen a different third bullet point

this is the perfect resume for any job. #hottiesofmtvnext #mtvnext

A post shared by Hotties of MTV's "Next" (@hottiesofmtvnext) on

15. Justin… stop huffing car exhaust…

16. Fair enough, some of the muppets are unsettling

Stache. #hottiesofmtvnext #mtvnext

A post shared by Hotties of MTV's "Next" (@hottiesofmtvnext) on

17. Tommy’s got a passion for women’s underwear

cool stats. #hottiesofmtvnext #mtvnext

A post shared by Hotties of MTV's "Next" (@hottiesofmtvnext) on

18. Wonder how that wrapper collection is holding up

tumblr oprqcxqeai1wojudmo1 1280 The bios for contestants on MTVs early 2000s dating show Next are even more of a hot mess than you remember

19. R.I.P. Heath Ledger

tumblr opafuk1ysh1wojudmo1 1280 The bios for contestants on MTVs early 2000s dating show Next are even more of a hot mess than you remember

20. They all start out so promising

tumblr opahj77xfq1wojudmo1 1280 The bios for contestants on MTVs early 2000s dating show Next are even more of a hot mess than you remember

21. At least he washes his hands?

tumblr opcxs7gn4t1wojudmo1 1280 The bios for contestants on MTVs early 2000s dating show Next are even more of a hot mess than you remember

22. Teens were so emo in the 2000s

tumblr opghvlgoev1wojudmo1 1280 The bios for contestants on MTVs early 2000s dating show Next are even more of a hot mess than you remember

23. AKA husband material!

tumblr opnymrk9v71wojudmo1 1280 The bios for contestants on MTVs early 2000s dating show Next are even more of a hot mess than you remember

Share Pin E-mail