It’s tough being a kid, but being a parent is it’s own minefield. Just when you think you have things figured out a new shit storm comes along. And if your kid is at that question everything stage, prepare for the stream of never ending “Whys?” It’s enough to make you lose your mind.
Turns out, parents have gotten pretty creative with the reasons they don’t want their kids doing something. Sometimes a little white lie is easier than the truth – and (hopefully) funny when you realize they had you fooled decades later.
1. jdahlia86’s folks are the most creative parents ever.
Metal detectors were lie detectors. Every vacation would start with my sister and I confessing everything we’ve ever lied about.
2. I think we all fell for this one, aka_jenner.
That it’s illegal to turn the light on in the car at night.
3. This one too, fredwolpert.
The ice cream truck was actually just a music truck
4. Just, wow, tstanekx.
If you have sex before marriage, the cops will arrest you.
5. That’s one way to get your kid to stop playing with the window button, qveenofdaydreams.
If I rolled the windows down and didn’t have my seat belt on I would be sucked out of the car.
6. andrewnlaw must have also had an itchy trigger finger.
The triangle hazard light button , was actually an ejection seat button for emergencies ….
7. scouts_mom2’s folks were tired of lifeguard duty.
You had to wait an hour to swim after you ate. We had a pool. They wanted a break from watching us.
8. Just…why, rikirachele??
If you sleep with your socks on, your feet will fall off
9. What’s so bad about playing with your belly button, robynhardee?
If I played with my belly button too much my butt would fall off. Actually odd that this conversation ever had to happen
10. veronica_erli’s parents never had to worry about their kid being a teen mom.
They don’t let pregnant girls into college
11. pip_parks’s uncle is just plain mean.
My uncle told me if I went pee during a lightening storm, lightening would come through the toilet and strike my bum. I believed this for longer than I care to admit and would rush to pee between lightening strikes.
12. forgeyourarrow, we got this one too.
That they were wrapping gifts when their doors were locked.
13. Rachel J’s folks just didn’t want her to spread her germs.
If I wiped my nose up with my hand it’d stick like a pig nose and no one would marry me
14. thestables1939’s mom was just having a rough day.
“Everybody gets car sick, at least once in their life”. My dad told me that after he had to pull over for my mother to throw up, she was beyond hungover. I was 8 then, and believed it until I was 16.
15. mrs.jay0920’s parents saved their kid from a sad truth.
That my cat ran away bc he found a girlfriend. He choked on a my little pony shoe.
16. Unfortunately a lot of people believe this one still, ash_tay_wil.
Chocolate milk comes from brown cows
17. 31gsilva must have been a very affectionate kid.
My dad told me that if I didn’t stop kissing him I would run out of kisses and I wouldn’t have any more for the next day
18. I would have thought my taste buds were zits, justy_yyc.
When you lie you get pimples on your tongue
19. andrewashmusic just wanted breakfast.
My Dad told me it was illegal to cook eggs sunny side up, because he didn’t want to attempt making them for me. I’m 32 now, and I found out 2 years ago, when my friend ordered eggs sunny side up at a restaurant, that this was all a lie! I’ve been eating eggs over easy this whole time like an IDIOT!
20. I’d hate to be there when mattikarin learned this was false.
“Spiders don’t like beds” ….. NOT TRUE
21. kalynlouise23’s grandpa had a clever way of keeping her finger clean.
My granddad had a partially amputated finger (to the 1st knuckle) and he always told me a booger bit it off, so I was way to scared to pick my nose as a child.
22. missjess89x probably has gorgeous nails though, TBH.
If you bite your nails you’ll get worms in your stomach.. Literally haven’t bit my nails since I was 5. Don’t think I ever could #traumatized
23. alireinhart, that’s quite the image.
If you swing to high and go over the bar your skin turns inside out….
24. tbardsy, WTF???
My mom told me if I didn’t change my part in my hair every few months I’d go bald.
25. Elizabeth B‘s mom is a damn genius.
You could go to stores to look at things, but you couldn’t but then until they were “on sale”.. stopped a lot of unnecessary begging and fits when we’d want something. She’d say sorry it’s not on sale today just for looking and we would accept it as truth…
26. Ashley A’s mom had her own way of getting her to eat the crust.
I never liked the crust on bread so my mom would tell me that if I ate the crust, I would be able to whistle. Lo and behold, everytime I ate crust, I would whistle and I kept on getting better
27. Harsh, Dannielle B.
That there was a kid dump where parents would drop off their misbehaving kids. It was an old tire recycling center and my mom would tell me the kids lived in the tires and would fight for food at night. She would even call the receptionist. My grandmother. Took me way to long to figure that one out.
28. Clarissa F’s dad had her fooled.
I watched ‘The Wizard of Oz’ and asked why the beginning of the movie was in black and white. My dad told me it was because the world didn’t have any color in it until 1939 and therefore all movies before then were in black and white…. I believed that way longer than I care to admit.
29. We bet Keri H was a pretty good kid.
That if I put crayons in the heater vents I would blow the whole house up and be responsible for killing my entire family. Another thing that carried this same possibility was dinging the doorbell too often.
30. Sarah C is gonna make us cry laughing.
Please don’t judge…I was told if you put too much toothpaste in your toothbrush that it fell into the sink and you scooped it back up and put it back in the bristles you would go blind.
31. Carrie O was a Sears baby.
My mom used to say she could exchange me with one of the little girls in the Sears catalog. Cuz that’s where she got me. Lmao
32. Damn, Wendy M uses visual aids.
I’ve googled pics of “Herpes on Hands” to show my kid that’s what’ll happen to her hands if she doesn’t wash them