Think back to your “first time”, yes that first time. Was it everything you expected it to be? Or were there certain *ahem* factors you wish you had known about ahead of time?
If you answered with a resounding “YES” to that final question, each of these Reddit responses are sure to give you a laugh.
1. Hardcharger87 had no idea that you can’t go forever.
Girls get sore.
2. Garbitch thought her vagina was essentially a sponge.
Nobody ever told me that after he came inside me it would leak back out slowly. I just though my vagina would somehow sponge it up.
3. that-writer-kid wasn’t prepared for the endorphin rush.
Post-coital rush. I’ve said more I regret after sex than I have trying to get it.
4. We learned that lesson pretty quick, PamelaOfMosman.
When you get invited back to a guy’s place for coffee – there’s no coffee.
5. A [deleted] user didn’t realize how much air could get trapped down there.
I did not realize that so much air would get trapped in my vagina and the sound it would make after he pulled out.
6. SyndromeOfTheDown didn’t know how much of a workout it was.
I wish someone had told me how tired sex makes you. I definitely would have been paying more attention to cardio all these years if I knew.
7. Wazula42 had to figure out his own methods.
Once your dick’s inside her, aim for her bellybutton. First time I tried it, things shifted into a totally different gear.
8. jellycube was forced to learn the hard truth.
A lot of people you don’t want to have sex with will want to have sex with you, and a lot of people you want to have sex with don’t want to have sex with you.
9. Can StupidSloth please tell this to the rest of the male population?
Too much pressure on the clit hurts. I thought I could abuse it like my penis.
10. This would’ve been great to know, EstherHarshom.
Sooner or later, one of you will do something utterly embarrassing. It will be absolutely mortifying. A good partner will not care.
11. likwidfire2k learned that it’s not just like porn.
Changing positions every 30 seconds not actually required despite what porn clips had taught me.
12. Preach, woofiewoofwoof.
That you might get attached to someone through it, and that they might not feel attached to you.
13. Sparkleworks sounds like they figured that out from experience.
Sex on a beach is not half as good as the movies make it out to be.
Sand being pushed into your vagina burns!
14. turkeyjizz, ya think?
That anal requires quite a bit of preparation…
15. A fair statement, artformarket.
No matter how sweet and compassionate of a guy you are, and how delicate your lovemaking style is… sometimes girls really want to be pounded like a you are a drunken Roman gladiator.
16. MaxJohnson15 sounds like he made the wrong assumption.
A mutual appreciation for facials should not be assumed.
17. Agreed, EstherHarshom.
Kinky is fun. Kinky is not like it appears in the pornos.