This girl went to incredible lengths to hide her poop from her Tinder date, and I’m crying

You may presume to have had the weirdest or most embarrassing Tinder experience of all time, but I can assure you that one UK man’s recent dating encounter will give your story a run for its money.

It all started when Liam Smyth decided to Netflix ‘n chill with his Tinder date after going out for dinner. Seems innocuous enough, right?

Well apparently, in the middle of watching a documentary, his date had to go “for a poo” in his bathroom. Unfortunately, she experienced the one universal dating nightmare shared by single people everywhere: she went number two in her date’s toilet, and then couldn’t flush.

Panicked, the girl pulled a full-on Broad City, wrapping her poo in toilet paper before throwing it out the window …

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… but, as luck would have it, the window was actually a double window, and the poop ended up trapped in the gap between the two windows. (You can see the poor poop-without-a-country wrapped in toilet paper below.)

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According to Liam, his date swallowed her pride and confessed to him what she had done — but that still left the predicament of the poop stuck in the window.

This poor girl then decided to CRAWL INTO THE WINDOW, UPSIDE DOWN in order to retrieve her poo. And naturally, as was her luck, she got stuck. (With a wad of poop in her face, no less.)

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The only way out of this mess was to call the fire department, who arrived and ultimately freed Liam’s Tinder date by smashing the window. (You can’t make this sh*t up, because no one would believe it.)

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Though this series of unfortunate events ultimately made for a pretty entertaining story, that still left Liam with a broken window that he was unable to pay to fix. In order to cover his expenses, Liam created a GoFundMe page to raise the £200 needed to repair the window.

Not surprisingly, Liam raised well over his goal — £1,200 more, as a matter of fact.

But, don’t worry. He’s not going to capitalize on his date’s misfortune. As he wrote in the GoFundMe description:

If by some miracle I manage to raise more money through this page than the cost of the window, any remainder will be split 50/50 between two charities: 

First, toilet twinning, a charity building and maintaining flushing toilets in the developing world. 60% of people worldwide don’t have access to a flushing toilet, which, when you think about it, really is pretty shit.

Second, to the firefighters charity. The guys who came to the house were brilliant, took everything in good humour, and professional. This call out was pretty funny, but they do risk their lives on a daily basis, and the firefighters charity provides financial, psychological and medical help to the brave men and women who risk their lives for us. 

Ultimately, this story turned out surprisingly well. Liam is getting a new window, and two charities are getting some generous donations. Win-win!

But one question remains: are these two in freakin’ love or what?

We may never know, but we can only hope that this girl’s candor and willingness to own up to her pooping mistakes will warrant a second date.

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