You know that feeling when you’re newly single and ready to shout from the rooftops that you are now ready, willing and available? Well, stop daydreaming about this hypothetical, y’all, because one brave and resourceful woman just DID that.
Writer and comedian Arantza Fahnbulleh recently announced to the world via a hilarious Instagram video that she is freshly single and taking applications for prospective partners.
And if you thought she was joking about the applications and references, think again. Arantza also posted a full “Daddy Application,” for all prospective lovers, which includes very thorough screening questions such as “How did you hear about this position?,” “What hours or shift are you available to work?,” and “How many bitches do you f*ck annually?”
If you’re confused about what a “Daddy Application” might entail, Arantza is more than happy to break it down for you.
“A ‘daddy’ or a ‘zaaady’ is much more than just a boyfriend or a bae,” Arantza tells BuzzFeed. “Your daddy wants you to win and see you shine! And you’re always learning something from him, that’s why he’s your daddy. It has nothing to do with his age or finances (but a good income is a plus!). He’s just always there to support, encourage, and challenge you to be your best.”
Sounds like she’s setting the bar extra high for her prospective fellas — and why not? She’s a beautiful, successful lady. Why shouldn’t she have a thorough screening process for her lovers?
As expected, Twitter was quick to deliver on the “Daddy” applicants.
One guy even went the extra mile and created a video application. (Definitely a standout candidate.)
Arantza says she’s still mulling over applications, and the decision process may take a while.
“I’ve received over 500 daddy applications, which is taking my team (aka my bitches) a lot of time to review,” she told BuzzFeed. As for whether or not these guys are for real? Well, she’s taking that possibility into consideration.
“I have no idea if these potential daddies are serious, but are they ever really serious??? That’s why we do thorough background checks here at Arantza Inc.”
Either way, it’s pretty clear that the rest of us have been living in the year 2017 when it comes to dating, while this woman is basically living in the year 3017.