Here’s the steamy new trailer for ‘Fifty Shades Freed,’ in case you needed a guilty pleasure

Look, I’ll be real with you guys: I have not seen a Fifty Shades of Grey movie, and I have not read any of the books. I would say that I am a Fifty Shades of Grey virgin, but that just seems like too much of a double entendre. Suffice it to say, I am not invested in this franchise whatsoever.

That said, I also cannot deny an unapologetically campy sex-scapade, complete with “intrigue,” “passion,” and “guns.” Which may be why I thoroughly enjoyed laughing my way through the new trailer for the upcoming Fifty Shades Freed.

The official Twitter account for the film dropped the trailer on Sunday, and there’s definitely a lot to unpack in this teaser: Christian and Anastasia (names which should, honestly, belong to Russian aristocrats) get married, and go on a seemingly dangerous (and sex-filled) honeymoon. Cars chase one another. Our main characters indulge in riding crops and bondage (natch). There’s a hidden gun, for some reason? Oh, and Dakota Johnson gets her own jet, because that’s just one of the perks of marrying a brooding millionaire.

Does the story take a deadly turn? Who is “freed” from whom? Does Jamie Dornan ever put his shirt on? I can’t (or, rather, won’t) answer these questions, but I imagine that all will become clear when the movie hits theaters on Valentine’s Day of 2018.

So, go ahead and start planning your raucous Galentine’s Day outing now — because this type of movie is pretty much begging to be watched in the company of your noisiest lady friends.

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